Cul de Cuvée 23-07-2022

by  |  23-07-2022  |  2 Comments

A bluntly-curated selection of absolutely random recent bits from around the wine and drink world served up “mostly fresh” for your enjoyment.

If you’ve ever thought, “Well I do like Scotch, but I don’t like the ‘peat party'” apparently you’re not alone as there are now Scotch producers actively avoiding the use of peat which will see a warm salute from those of us in the peat-less community. Oh right, it happens to be the case it’s better for the environment to not use peat because it traps CO2, promotes biodiversity, and yadda yadda, saving the world and all that.

It appears Cameron Diaz may have been a drug mule. Why is this news on a drinks roundup? Because her freakin’ “clean” wine bullshittus is mentioned in the first sentence in a story that sounds so not at all totally made up.

If the Cameron Diaz true crime story didn’t whet your appetite, then try this on for size as the couple who robbed a Spanish restaurant of very expensive wines totaling 1.6€ million were apprehended. Of course they wouldn’t be your average wine thieves (is there such a thing?) with the guy being Romanian-Dutch with outstanding warrants and the woman allegedly being a former Miss Mexico… using a forged Swiss passport.

If you’re in need of more Dijon mustard, then you’re shit outta luck as friends, there is a mustard crisis sweeping across the world right now! Why are we suffering yet another cruel fate on this planet? Because despite this being a Frenchie product, something like 80% of the mustard seeds come from Canada who’ve lost half their harvest. We shall now pay for this travesty with flavorless sandwiches and less-than-exciting meat courses.

Tired of watching all the endless sabering videos with sparkling wine? Of course you are, which is why you need to have a little change of pace that will probably make you feel like the sabering videos weren’t that bad.

Is wine better than beer? Fuck yes and if you don’t believe something just because someone on the internet says it, there’s now a study showing that drinking beer makes you go Homer Simpson.

In what should have been a far more reported story, Ronan Sayburn has announced that he’s leaving 67 Pall Mall after eight years heading up the wines at this now ever-expanding franchise of a wine bar. In an actual comment to CdC he stated that it was give him more time for everything else he has going on like being the President of the Court of Master Sommeliers and a co-chair at the Decanter awards.

Also in movin’ on news, “Wine is bullshit” statement maker, social media insights knower and quite excellent wine scientist, Carole Meredith announced that, along with her husband, Steve Lagier that were going to let winemaking friends take over the management of their vineyards as opposed to selling them and the house on it where they live–apparently they like the view. The price? a massive zero dollars.

In yet another item that should been under the “Much Bigger News” category, Wine Enthusiast has quietly announced that they’re not going to be covering a whole slew of world wine regions and many American states, apparently just slimming it down to bigger names which… everyone covers. This is on top of reviewers, Kerin O’Keefe and Sean P. Sullivan both stepping down from their roles and a various longtime editors leaving which doesn’t make for terribly pleasing signs in the future.

Make your own bread? Got your own starter from ambient yeasts? Ever wonder how long those buggers can last? This seemingly simple question was apparently on other minds as well given that someone set out to find the oldest sourdough in the world. While this isn’t booze news, it’s yeast news which counts for the CdC according to rules we just made up.

If looking for something not to drink this summer, the CdC presents you with a white wine sangria… Apparently the fact the name “sangria” means, “bloodletting” and thus, is always based upon red wine seems to be one of those things that’s just, you know, like, whatever.

The Palate Cleanser

It’s that moment we’ve all been waiting for. Vladimir Putin keeling over dead? Sadly no, but at least this is amusing in that it’s time for the Pornhub annual search results (all text but probably NSFW.) Biggest non-surprise? People in Utah search for Mormon porn. Biggest actual surprise? Only in the Philippines do more women watch porn than men. Hours of fascinating facts are in there that will probably take longer to read than then highest average time spent during a visit to Pornhub which was 11 minutes 31 seconds, also claimed by the Philippines. But let’s ask the biggest question, what in the hell is going on in Idaho?!!

Until we meet again in the cul of the cuvée.

Comments

2 responses to “Cul de Cuvée 23-07-2022”

  1. Dan Roy says:

    Miguel, I think this is one of the best Cul de Cuvee’s ever. I am sorry to say as a Canadian that we seem to have screwed up the world mustard situation. Since it seems to come from here I will be pleased to ship you a few jars at no cost as a gesture to make up for our shortcomings. Anyway loved your column and had some good laughs – keep it coming and I will take care of the mustard!!

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