Zee Germans

For the longest time, I’ve always thought the Americans were probably the most rude tourists there were when it came to rude tourists, but I’ve found out that in the USA, they’re rude. Outside the USA, Americans are just clueless. You can see it in Europe as they bounce around like pinballs in places like Venice, where, despite the fact nearly everything is in English, they still really can’t find their way around. This is decently harmless behavior; difficult if you do know your way around and try to help them, but as Douglas Adams wrote, they’re ‘Mostly Harmless’.
Ah, but then we come to the Germans. The Germans you see here in Europe and specifically in Croatia where I’m writing this right now go above and beyond the call of rude when it comes to being crappy to the host country they’re in. They cut in line. They’re cheap on everything. They treat just about everyone like crap that they encounter. They burn easily (more their problem than mine, but hey, I’m ranting.) And lastly, they’ll only speak German.
I think the Croatians have catered a bit much to their whims, but what are you going to do. This is a beautiful place here and tourism is a huge industry, so you figure out how to get the people here. Naturally, I think that the Germans will find themselves in less dominance quite soon as I’m hearing more and more American accents in Dubrovnik these days. We all know what that means and you can see it in just about anywhere you go here. When I was here a year ago, English was not that widely spoken, but now everyone knows it. Some know it to a greater degree than others, but it is coming into its own as a commonly spoken language.
There is one thing the Germans don’t do though and that’s try to be phony wine snobs. That is still a monopoly of dumbness held by the Americans. Let me just tell you that you’re not really that sophisticated when you walk in to a restaurant, look at the wines, say, ‘Oh yes, 1998 Dignack (it’s pronounced Deeg-nas), that was a good year.’ or ‘Wow, you have the Zlaten Plavack (pronounced Zhlah-tahn Plah-vas) and it’s a 2004.’ You’re not cool. Get over it. Go buy wine from Costco in the US, drink it at home and don’t subject me to your butchering of Croatian words that really aren’t that hard. Learn some German and go hang out with them.
Oh yeah, Dubrovnik is still really beautiful and heavenly. I don’t think any amount of tourism, Americans, or Germans will change that unless they knock down the Old City to put in a Walmart. Even then it’d still be an amazing place, but I better shut up or people will get ugly ideas.