You Too Can Be Eddie Vedder

Remember Mr. Vedder? That’s right, it’s all coming back to you. The grunge days, Seattle, ah yes, Pearl Jam. That group kind of went in to obscurity after album number four or whatever it was that I mistakenly bought and then returned, but in the beginning I liked them. They were a good group and of course there was screaming, shrieking Eddie. He had a lyrical style that seemed so different, so poetic for the grunge generation.
I’ll let you in on a little secret… you can write just like Eddie did. Here’s what ya do. Either grab a magazine article or just write down a lengthy paragraph on a piece of paper. The subject really doesn’t matter. It can be rambling, drunken madness and this will still work (and actually be even better.) Okay, so once you get that all put together, here’s the trick. Get two pieces of paper or two books, or something can’t see through. Move each one in from the left and right sides of the page, so that they cover about an inch or text on each side. Now, copy down what’s left, leaving out any partial words. Voila! You’ve just written lyrics like the ol’ Vedmeister. Don’t you feel like a rock star now? No? Oh, well, do a lot of narcotics and play a bongo drum in Golden Gate Park and you’ll get where you want to be.