Words for the Dog

There were more than a few goings on lately that made me feel the need to write about our canine companions that we all cherish. First was this rather good article about the stupid tendency to accuse those who are Asian of eating their dogs. Then there is also a recent visit to the chiropractor where I noticed some odd things.
The glaring bit of strangeness in an otherwise normal office was a book entitled, “Anatomy of the Dog” which I just thought was some clever fictional title that didn’t make sense unless you read the enclosed text between the covers. But no, it really was a book about dog anatomy. Okay, that’s a bit odd, so I asked my chiropractor why on earth he had it to which he showed me two other books that were equally as odd called, “The Well-Adjusted Cat” and “The Well-Adjusted Dog“. Now I just confused. I thought that perhaps the good doctor was depressed in his current profession and was maybe going to move into pet psychiatry.
On so many counts was I wrong. It turns out that there is some kind of market for animal chiropractic adjustments. My doctor seems to have decided on mainly adjusting dogs as I can only imagine that trying to do a spinal realignment on a cat would be akin to giving a porcupine a neck rub. But I guess he’s really been working on it and is getting quite good. I’ve felt he does a wonderful job on humans and I’ve been very happy with him, so it only makes sense that he is able to apply his talents to the four-legged individuals. The one very amusing thought that kept going through my head was how the adjustment conversations would go and I figured it would be something like this:
“You’ve got a lot of tension in your jaw.”
“Grrr.”
“Let me guess you’ve not been doing the exercises I showed you last time.”
Dog shrugs.
“Wait, this is a little more out of line here than it should be. Have you been knawing on the furniture?”
“Grrr.”
“I thought so. You really need to stick with the chew bones that you’ve got for this sort of thing.”
“Bark, bark…”
“Well, I know it’s more fufilling, but really, it’s for the best.”
“Bark…”
“Okay, good. Well, you’re all done. Keep it easy on the tail wagging for the next hour or so and you might want to put a cold pack under your front paw when you get home.”
“Woof!”
As the dog runs around in circles in the office, his master pays up and another happy pooch is adjusted.
Anyways, fiction aside, if you’re looking for a great adjustment whether a human or a dog, look up Benjamin Chiropractic in Oakland, CA. He’s been cracking me well for the last few years.