The Media is Apple’s Bitch

If anything else if true about Steve Jobs, he has definitely managed to slay the media and make it his. They may not love him, but they sure love Apple. Somehow the harsh reviews they give others turn in to awe with Apple. The basic services that Apple provides cause those in the press to wax poetically. What a load of crap.

As is the case most of the time, this “article” which is nothing more than an opinion piece, has set me off. If you read between the lines, Jon Carroll is actually unhappy. He is not a stupid guy and I tend to like what he writes, but it seems that he has somehow been subconsciously forced by the rest of the media and perhaps something in his morning Peet’s to take what would have been negative press and put a positive spin on it. Why? A lot of the things Apple does are pretty damned annoying. Just state your piece with an honest opinion and be done with it. But oh no, we can’t do that. Apple is amazing. They are incredible. Really folks. They make pretty plain products that everybody keeps drooling over due to the “simplicity of design”. Yeah, sure. You ever try to lift a PowerMac G5? That design simplicity weighs a ton and you can’t carry it due to the malformed handles. I actually think that Sony has better design in their laptops and I say this being a rabid Thinkpad fan, but lets face it, the black slab is pretty boring.

One big thing in Carroll’s article that I’d like to counter is the Apple Store. They are idiotic dolts just like any store. If you know what you need, they argue with you. If you just want to browse things, they get in your face. And then there’s the Genius Bar. Yeah, the “genius” bar. I think that the genius bar is an actual bar that Apple has set up at the stores which only geniuses walk in to and it stops them from getting hired.

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”
“It doesn’t power up.”
“Okay, let me just put a power cord in to it.”
“Genius, it doesn’t power up.”
“Alright, found one, let me plug it in.”
“Dude, it doesn’t power up. How much more clear do I need to be?”
“Okay, I’m turning it on… and… I’m turning it on. Hmmm, it appears to not power up.”
“Yeah, genius at work, watch out, you might lose an eye.”

So, why do I know so much about Apples when I obviously don’t like them and appear to be a Windows guy? Simple, there’s a lot of money to be made in their repair because they break down and they break down often. Normal folks can’t fix them and so guys like me are around to provide the illusion of functionality to these things.

By the way, it was nice to be in European countries where seeing an Apple computer is about as common as seeing a supporter of Bush. Yeah, they’re there, but no one likes to talk about them.

One Reply to “The Media is Apple’s Bitch”

  1. Well put. I’ll never understand the media’s fascination with iCrap. They flaunt their inferior devices on TV and headline product releases over actual important news (and I rarely even watch the propaganda).

    Ever see one of the puppets on CNN or the like complaining about a lack of Flash or flaunting a droid tablet? Me neither…

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