The Gang’s All Here

There are a couple of inevitable things that happen when you don’t have to get up for a job anymore. One is that you start sleeping in later and later as it appears that 9AM is my new favorite time to wake up. Another thing is that you start noticing things in your neighborhood more. For instead, I notice the people at Cup A Joe across the street to a much greater degree. I’ve gotten to know who the “regulars” are so well that one of two things is going to happen. I’m either going to go down there and join then, or start writing dialogs about them.
So here we go, let’s meet The Gang:
The Drummer: A mild mannered guy originally from NY who is full of interesting lore about the neighborhood back when it was still very much the Tenderloin and not the Southwest corner of Nob Hill.
The Ponderer: An older fellow who can wax poetically about days gone by, endlessly, and with no sign of stopping.
The Owner: This is actually Joe who owns Cup A Joe and will pop in with the groups to chat about whatever while he’s watching shop.
The Dude: This is really any number of guys who fill in the this role and are pretty much all the same with sunglasses, a hipster attitude, and a take no crap, mocha with whipped cream kind of way about them.
The Chick: Much like Dude, this is the token girl in the group which is any number of girls that are trying to look like the go to art school because they go to art school.
The Wanker: Ah, The Wanker. All of us in a two block radius love this guy. He’s loud and obnoxious with little to say (these often go hand in hand for some mystifying reason.) He is so loud that people from all the apartment buildings complain about him and he gets in fights about things he doesn’t know about with other patrons at the cafe.
The Dog: The Chihuahua who rides shotgun with Wanker and is a thankful beast in that he can’t understand what the hell his human says.


We open on a cafe with people coming and going to get their morning fix of caffeine. At a table outside sit DRUMMER, PONDERER, and DUDE. They are having a normal conversation about the weather and what not, when CHICK comes out with a cup of coffee and sits down.

Little changes as they continue to chat.

WANKER comes up the street with DOG tucked in his sweatshirt in a fashion he finds immensely cool and non-derivative.

How the hell are y’all?!! Man I’m having
a crappy morning.

I was just heading out to practice.

Drummer gets up to leave.

Oh okay!
(keeps yelling to him
as he crosses the street)
Have a great damned practice!

Drummer nods and leaves.

Oh shit, I need to get to class.

Oh yeah, me too. I almost forgot.
All the booze gives me short-term
memory loss or something.

Chick and Dude both leave.

Wanker and Dog turn to look at Ponderer.

You know what pisses me off about
all these damned abortion rights
idiots? They’re so stupid! I just
read in the news that they think
Bush should pull out of Iraq and
that Hillary Clinton was behind
the steroids scandal!

I have to go check my mail. I’m
waiting for something very important.

Oh, okay. Have fun.

Wanker and Dog watch Ponderer leave. We Fade Out on Wanker starting to tell his political ideals to someone sitting outside who is trying to read a paper in solitude.