I’ve said it for awhile, but I’m going to make it official: The Winner of the Country for Worst Haircuts in Europe for 2007 is Spain. There, I said it and I mean it. And this is a tight race. There are a lot of bad haircuts that get popular in Europe and they’re so bad that they never make it to the US. I’m hoping that this is the case for Spain.
There are a great many cuts that are tolerable. Girls seem to love to have that little ponytail with the kind of sloppy bangs that don’t tuck in the ponytail. It’s quasi hippy and if you see a girl with this cut anywhere in Europe, you know that she’s Spanish. But then there are the girls that get these whacked up things that look like their boyfriend drunkenly abused them with a pair of scissors. But no, they pay good money ($70 and up) for what looks like what happens when a parent leaves their five year old child alone at home, only to come back and find that “helped out” by cutting their hair themselves.
Then we move on to the guys. Oy. Vey. Guys have taken being trendy to a whole new level. They spend just as much as the girls in Spain to get their hair cut, only to look twice as bad. There are some homohawks here and there, but these quickly drift in to the do-it-yourself, but actually done-by-someone-else cut that the girls have. It’s this uneven thing that looks as if they ran out of money or called the stylist’s mother a whore half way through the cut. I don’t think you can even call it a haircut. But then, you actually can call it a haircut because there is the all time winner of bad haircuts: mullet with dreads. Guys get their hair cut in to a mullet on the top, but instead of having the waterfall down the back like Camaro owners like to home grow, they pay to get the length in the back turned in to dreads. Yes, it is as repulsive as it sounds. It looks like a cow crapped on their head, then they let it roll off the back and forgot about it for a few days at let it form in to what I call a dreadlet.
Now, everyone is free to do what they like with their hair. But the reason Spain gets the award of worst do for the year is because everyone is cutting their hair like this and paying scads of money that they don’t have to get something that I can do at home for free. That my friends is just cultural blindness. I’m curious to see if this changes next year, but from what I’ve heard, and because of the slacker hippy ex-pats in Barcelona, it’s been like this a good long time and it ain’t changing anytime soon.