The Italian side weasel


In spending nearly a week in Turin, I’ve gained a greater appreciation for how things in Italy work, namely lines. As I tweeted on my second day here, “If you had to form a line to get in to heaven, all Italians would go to hell” because Italy constantly strives to Africaness in how people approach standing in a line. While the crowd all trying to be first as seen above is difficult enough, it’s more the rather common type of marmot called, the “side weasel” that forms the biggest problems in lines.

You can be standing in line and there is a guy who arrives behind you. The next thing you know, he’s on the side of you. And then, without a single “mi scusi” to be heard, he and 10 of his friends are in front of you. It’s a crafty mammal this side weasel, but a damned annoying one. Italians aren’t blind to fact that it exists though as when they put up ropes to form a lengthy queue (such as waiting to ascend the Mole elevator) the zigging and zagging takes on weird turns an angles as if Fritz Lang and a team of German Brutalists created the line solely for the purpose of making tight turns so that the side weasel cannot pull its tricks.

I have to admit that there does exist a Barcelona side weasel as well, but it isn’t usually found inhabiting lines. Instead, it’s on a moto and zips around the sides of cars at stoplights to be the first to go. Not a very smart mammal, it is often flattened by oncoming traffic as it leaves before the change of light. I find that it must be a distant relative of the Italian variant given that they both annoy me in much the same manner and commonly sport the grin of a shit eating self-appointed genius.