Take Your Lavender and Shove it

Take Your Lavender and Shove it

If you know the name, Hvar, then you most likely know the word, lavender. Those two have been forever linked through the tourist trade because to sell people on an island in Croatia that they can’t pronounce required telling them about all the lavender that grew there, right? Or, maybe it’s because it was associate this Mediterranean island with Provence.

Well, the Croats aren’t stupid and they saw the tourists coming in to Hvar, asking about lavender this and lavender that, so they really pumped up the whole lavender thing. There are number touristic must-haves all themed around lavender. There are places called Cafe Lavanda (Croatian for lavender.) The signs for the homemade wines and liquors that usually read ‘Vino Rakija’ read ‘Vino Rakija Lavanda’ on Hvar. It is everywhere so if you really want lavender, then this is your place. Except that it really isn’t.

For one thing lavender is just a plant. Sure, it smells nice, but planning your trip around a plant is pretty nuts. And if I hear another person talking about wanting to run through a field of lavender in some post-pubescent daydream, I’ve got news for her, go to Slavonia. You see, I’ve been across all of Hvar. Really, I have. I’ve seen the whole island and while there are some hidden coves that I know I’ve not seen, there are no massive fields of lavender there. Sure, there are some and lavender still grows there, but there are apparently a greater number of them in Slavonia which is in that weird shape of the eastern hook of Croatia that touches Serbia. Whether or not this is being exported to Hvar is a matter I know nothing of. The moral of the story is: don’t base a vacation around something in potpourri air freshener.