Single American dudes, if you’re lonely, head to Cape Coast, Ghana

Man, I am so thankful that I’m married and don’t have to think about these things anymore, but for any single guys out there who are feeling a bit lonely in the US, don’t spend money on internet dating or strippers. Buy a plane ticket to Accra and then haul your ass over to Cape Coast. Now, I realize that this may seem random, but all I see are piles of American girls in the restaurants doing internships or whatever and there are no guys around. This is the single scene any loser in the US could hope for. While I have no damn to give as what you do, here might be some helpful pointers:

The Accent
First of all, these girls are more than likely not going to want to meet an American. They’re here for a few weeks or months getting their “International, African experience” for their resumes and most likely they have an American guy back home. Pointer: fake an accent. Try something from Southern Europe and make it sleazy. Try and keep it generic and chat the girls up a bit to figure out somewhere where they haven’t been. If you can get away with Sicily, great, as you can make any kind of tacky Godfather references you want to. Really, if you’ve gone all the way to Ghana to meet American women, you should have no shame in doing this, so go with it. Be warned though that if you take advantage of the next point, this goes to hell.
Passport Stamps
Any girl in Ghana is a “world traveler” and you can better have the entry and exit stamps to back it up. If you don’t, fake them. I have no idea where to get “fake” passport stamps, but again, your shame is non-existent, so work on this. Keep in mind that a stamp showing-swap is the first step to bigger and better swaps.
Keep a Diary
If you’ve gone with the fake accent, this is great because you can write some crap “dialect” in the diary that is nonsense. If not, you will have to write real stuff in English and that could nearly be work. Watch the diary angle closely. Bring a couple of them too, making sure to rough them up and look travel-worn. I recommend Moleskins even though Miquel Rius are better just because any “thinker” from the US writes in Moleskins. Make sure you only write your sweet nothings about one girl per diary.
Ghanaian Clothes
You gotta get something “African” like a shirt made out of the cloths they produce. I recommend the Obama shirt which I’ll hopefully be able to hunt down. If you wuss out on the full shirt, go for a scarf, but whatever you do, don’t go for the vest. Outside of hipster circles, vests get you no pootie.
Love the Children
Wherever you walk, kids will want to cling on to you. I find it sweet, but there’s a reason that I’m married. You are single and you need to make sure you walk around and test out your reactions with the kids before you make some kid of awkward moves in from of a girl. A couple of test “kiddings” in more remote areas of town where the girls don’t venture are highly recommended. Just remember that if there’s no love for the African children and no love for you.
Also on this note, make sure to stage some photos of you hugging children and being generally interested in “stuff” in the country (a sad, compassionate face at the Door of no Return is a good start) and have these sitting on your digital camera to show any girl your casually start talking to.
Talk the Talk
Say things such as, “we need to shed light on the problems”, “let’s work to empower these people”, or my favorite, “I came because I wanted to give something back”. All of these statements are full or crap, but really, so are you, so let it fly like kids throwing dried cow turds in Iowa.

Keep in mind over everything else that if you really do fly to Ghana to hook up with American women, you really don’t have much going on. You should go to any depths to get laid (short of anything illegal, pervert) and again, have no shame. Maybe I’m wrong and there are scores of dudes that are workaholics, hiding out in the offices somewhere, but it sure doesn’t look like it and the odds are better here for a straight American loser than just about anywhere else in the world, even San Francisco.
Single American dudes, if you're lonely, head to Cape Coast, Ghana