Ryanair: The friendly, informercially skies

Despite meandering around here and there, I had never flown with Ryanair. I’ve flown with Easyjet, Vueling, and ClickAir (which is now part of Vueling), but somehow I had never made it to this granddaddy of all budget airlines. Despite the fact that it was just a 15€ difference to fly from Girona to London recently as opposed to flying from Barcelona to London on EasyJet, I took this path as I’m staying a lot closer to Girona. So I thought, hey, why not?
It turns out that they’re not particularly terrible, especially as more and more of the larger airline “go budget” as time wears on. I had freely badmouthed the airline previously merely for the fact that it constantly bathes Spain with drunken stag and hen parties from the UK who use the airline as little more than a drink express. I mean, that’s reason enough to hate anything, even the cutest puppy in the world if said puppy enables drunken morons to spread far and wide.
But the planes are fine. One would think that with all their 1€ flight promos that they would be duct taped together and barely able to stay airborne, but no, they’re fine and naturally they have to be as they’re bound to the same rules as any other airline in the EU. The legroom is dreadful, but the seats don’t recline, so for 1-2 hours, it can be tolerated. The experience of the pilots is up for debate though as the landing in to London was probably the hardest I’ve ever experienced. Many in the cabin applauded the flight, but really, there were no applause that should have been given for that kind of flying.
The only big problem with Ryanair is that in order to subsidize those 1€ flights (which usually turn in to 30€ minimum with taxes and all, if you have no luggage), they sell the crap out of your time up in the air with them. It was like being on a flying, two hour infomercial. It starts with the food, continues with the drinks, drifts in to lottery cards, and then of course, phone cards. I’m quite shocked that they don’t attempt to sell you life insurance or an extended warranty on your luggage while they’re at it. So naturally, looking back on it, I find it no surprise that they would think about trying to charge for people to use the bathroom. If it were ever to be implemented, it would result in my leaving whatever it is I had to do directly in the aisle to prove a point though.
The one extremely laughable thing about Ryanair though is that they claim to have an on time arrival figure of 90%. Most airlines would have this or a great deal better if they put a 25% additional time cushion on each flight. Given that both flights I took departed late, if they used a traditional measure, they would fall quite fast.
The only advice I can give someone flying with them is to make sure and eat before you fly, don’t buy any of their additional addons, make sure to shop around to see if they are indeed the lowest, and lastly, if you find they have an incredibly cheap fair, jump on it as soon as you can. Waiting only makes it go up.
Ryanair: The friendly, informercially skies