Pickles!

Salty, briny pickles are one of the finest things on the face of the planet. Whether used in conjunction with the other elements of a sandwich, or just eaten by themselves, they’re one hell of a tasty thing. Naturally, like most things out there, there are varying degrees of pickle quality. Nowhere does this become more apparent than when you go to your typical American grocery store to try and figure which of these you want to get.
Such was the case in a recent spree of dietary fulfillment in which I was confronted by the rather large choice of pickles that are out there. It’s funny though, the choice is actually slim, because the vast majority of pickles are these rubbery things you could bounce off the floor. Also in this area of the rubbery pickle is the fact that almost all of the pickles out there use Yellow No. 5! Huh?!! They’re putting yellow food coloring in pickles? In fact, it’s the same coloring that they use in Mountain Dew of all things. What this is doing in my pickles is beyond me. It seems as is one of the mega-corporations started doing this one day and then everyone else followed along. I don’t get it.
Depressed by that fact, I thought my pickle buying was finished, since I didn’t want funky coloring stuff in my pickles. Luckily as I was strolling through the cheese isle (one of the few things finer than a properly constructed pickle) when I came across some Clausen pickles. I was a little skeptical of them, since they were the only pickles near the cheese and I didn’t think they really had any business being there or claiming to be Kosher when all those other dyed pickles claimed to be Kosher as well.
Getting beyond my doubts, I bought them, took them home, and proceeded to eat the whole jar in an evening. I don’t know who bought out the rabbi to call that junk from Vlasic “Kosher”, but the guy certifying these salty dogs was definitely on the ball, since they were the ultimate pickle I had been questing for all this time. Ura! Pickles!