Penis Thefts Rise in 2008, in Kinshasa

While in Kinshasa, I was tipped off to this article which covers the fact that a great many men are convinced that their “junk” has either disappeared or has heavily shrank in size after being cursed by local witchdoctors. I know it sounds like a bad joke, but people are being accused of the “sorcery” and being mob lynched because of it. If there is one think that you don’t want to mess with in Kinshasa, then that is an angry mob. They can get out of control very fast.

While it’s something that will undoubtedly pass in due course, friends have seen guys showing their stuff to other friends along the street, hysterical that they’ve been the victim of a shrinking. They’re quite worried to touch anyone who has been a victim of the curse and potentially everyone is a possible shrinker, with the exception of the white folk (mundele) who are of course already known to be cursed with diminutive equipment and thus are immune to the witchdoctor curses, or so the logic seems to go.

The article credits the rise of a religious cult in Bas Congo, which is to the west of Kinshasa as part of the reason for this scare. I don’t know how true it is, but this cult was the main reason that we just stayed in Kinshasa, because apparently it was very unsafe for mundele to head out to those parts currently. Of course, this assumption is based on a UN report, which is one of many that extol the dangers of Congo outside of UN compounds, which makes me wonder how they compile these reports in the first place.

Anyways, if you’re a guy these days, watch your junk. A curse may be headed your way sometime soon.