Hot upon my return from Yosemite, I can’t get it out of my head that the world, for the most part, is entirely peopled by idiots.
Seeing a cross section of a variety of folks at the park over the weekend, I’m still amazed how I didn’t come away with a few of them for bumper trophies. Really. The amount of folks who would just blindly walk in to the street to get that “special” shot was a mind-numbing amount. This one guy could have easily have been the opener to a Six Feet Under episode. “Okay honey, right, let me back up a little more…” Whump! Whump! Under my tires he goes. I’m convinced that the 35MPH speed limit enforced throughout much of the park is not so much for the sake of wildlife preservation, but idiocy avoidance. I mean, the one bear that I saw crossing the road in front of me as I was driving managed to see that I was coming and hustled his way off the road. I saw no such reaction from the various camera-laden people.
But really, the gleaming moment had to be when my friend Anna and I were at the Visitor’s Center and we were looking over the 3D map of the region. A girl comes up and shows some folks the map, pointing out the Hetch Hetchy Resevoir and saying that it used to be a lovely valley before they dammed it to provide water to San Francisco. This guy in the group with the most Southern of twangs says, “Well, why don’t they just knock that thing down and get back the valley?” Anna and I naturally spoke up about the fact we’d like to keep out water supply for our city. Taken aback, the fellow said, “Sorry, I’m from back East. I just don’t know about these things.” In my head I’m thinking, “No, you’re from the South, but yes, you don’t know about these things.”
I really wish he had made some kind of “kill off the fags” comments or something like that because Anna and I realized that the perfect response back with the most lisping of voices would have been, “Hey there Big Mister Mustache, fabulous doesn’t quench a thirst okay? Now play nice with us all.” Oh well, we’ll carry that Jerkstore moment with us forever.
As a side note, let me just emphasize that Yosemite really is amazing and you should see it. I’m a moron for going at the height of tourist season. It’d be like kicking it with all the chilled shorts-wearing folks up at Fisherman’s Wharf and getting irked.