Morons on Mopeds

Sweet paprika, if there is one thing during this trip that has brought out the grumpy old man in me, it is the moped (or moto or vespa or whatever else). These two-wheeled bastard vehicles are so prevalent on the coast that they’re like an infestation. Always, the errrrrrr sound of their motors can be heard in the summer, screaming through the night. I wish for rain sometimes, just to shed this plague of locusts.
Typically, I would be all in favor of small vehicles that get good gas mileage, but in this case, there is a certain type that has flocked to this type of transport and they are idiots. They are usually always wearing shorts with sandals and more often than not, no shirt. A helmet is a rare sighting, although sometimes they have it around their arm. Often, they will be sms-ing somebody on their mobile while driving.
Okay, so this isn’t really enough to warrant hating these guys just because they look like morons, but then there is the fact that they are either always guys or what appears to be a girl who has borrowed the moped from her guy. They are also all lazy bastards. They’ll ride the damned moped 200 meters to get groceries or sit in the cafe. Why walk up a hill, when you can drive up that hill? Honestly, I’m surprised more of them aren’t fatter.
But the real stone in the shoe is how they drive. Basically, they don’t. They turn on the bike, accelerate and are just kind of there for the ride, not really steering, but more just bumbling. The amount of times I’ve been in a car and nearly hit by one of these twits is too many to count. There is this attitude that you’re just going to move and not that you’re in a vehicle ten times that weight and would gladly crush them in to a small, moronic mess.
Basically, when it comes to these guys, there are a lot of mothers who need to hand out a lot of slaps. They need someone to kick their asses in line, because I can see it in their attitude that they’re the little princes in the family who can do no wrong. Then of course, everyone in the family is enraged and upset when their precious moron flies off the edge of the road and in to oblivion because he was trying to overtake a bus.
Morons on Mopeds