Lock and Key

I’ve been doing a bit of contract work for a company in the Financial District and it never ceases to amaze me how the downtown businesses handle the bathroom situation in their buildings.
If you’re lucky enough, there will be a bathroom in the office suite. These are the few and the fortunate it seems, because for most, you usually need to use a bathroom that is for the entire floor. This may not seem like a big deal other than the fact that they are always locked. This is not for security reasons usually, oh no, no, no. It is done to keep out the bums. Lord knows that if we provided a place for bums to use the bathroom, we’d lose all that precious poo out on our streets. Much more of a problem in the Mission than in downtown, but still, something that is kind of foul.
So, as I grabbed the key for the bathroom in this building that I’m at, I discovered it is a magical key. As you put it in the lock and turn it, it doesn’t turn. You try again and it doesn’t turn. Again and again you mess with the damn thing until you’re lucky like me and someone comes out of the bathroom. That’s how you get in. This is not an ideal course of action as someone can’t always be in the restroom, so thankfully you’ll eventually find the kind soul who shows you the magic of the key, how you must pull it out slightly while turning and say supportive things like, “You’re a good key. You’re a strong key.” With pulling all of this together, the key will grant you entry. Anything less and you’re out with the homeless folks…