Lidl, the cronut, and shark jumping


I feel that there is a general rule in life in that once something has emerged in New York City, it has “jumped the shark” globally. Sure, an of-the-moment food item or stage play or fashion bit or whatever it may be will pop up in San Francisco 2-3 years later and then in Spain 2-3 years after that but for all intents and purposes, NYC marks the beginning of the end for anything new.

I bring this up not because I like saying “jump the shark” because I do, I really, really do, but because I encountered the “Cronut Nova York” that you see pictured above. For those who didn’t know about it, the cronut was created in NYC in 2013. It became huge and I assume it still is huge. The thought of croissant innards wrapped in donut sin would appeal as much to the people of Victorian times as it will to a future where we finally have the fucking flying cars we’ve been promised for a half century.

This Cronut Nova York that I came across wasn’t in San Francisco however nor Paris nor Montpellier where I just returned from a wine fair. It was at a Lidl in L’Hospitalet de l’Infant which is a beach town on the Costa Daurada of Catalonia. For those who don’t know Lidl, lemme ‘splain. Lidl, as Editor in Chief tells me, was, in the 1990s where students and white trash would go to buy the cheapest crap food imaginable. To shop at Lidl in American terms would be to shop at Walmart with a produce section from the Dollar Store. No one shopped there or at least admitted to it.

Times have changed the hell up and now everyone shops there, including us. Why? Because Lidl is awesome, that’s why! Their theme weeks are contagious for instance. We just came off Italian week and the house is crammed with delicious marscapone and pasta. Asian week also passed and while the dumplings left a bit to be desired, other spicy treats await.

Lidl also has a perfectly serviceable wine section. I picked up a damned decent Châteauneuf there awhile back. A recent Grenache from DO Cariñena didn’t do as well but apparently their shops up in the UK are killing it and have become a real go-to spot for gourmet products. There was even a full article in Harpers about how successful they’ve been in the UK. Oh yeah, on the topic of gourmet, the “Deluxe” period is just before Christmas and there are delicious things to be found there as well. Also, their avocados and produce overall are better than most anywhere else.

As you can see, Lidl is a wonderful world of ever-changing grocery finds which brings us back to the Cronut Nova York. For some reason this Lidl had a bakery in it and there was no way I wasn’t going to pick this up to try. Now having exposed my mouth to a Spanish cronut however, I’m wondering why I bothered. As is always the problem, the croissant core is obviously pork fat based and not butter. It coats the roof of your mouth and is foul. I tossed it in the toaster oven for touch to see if that would liven it up and all it did was make the chocolate more molten. Dead on the palate overall, I’d give it 78/100 points.

So in the end, despite my enthusiasm, Lidl isn’t apparently for everything, just most of it; especially toilet paper.

One Reply to “Lidl, the cronut, and shark jumping”

  1. Cronuts, a new low in food combos. I think my whole lower GI tract would revolt even if my mouth thought it was good. The pork fat substituted for butter, a Spanish oddity, just doesn’t work. There are some things sacrosanct in the food world, and pastries made with BUTTER is one of them.

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