Give us that Dirty Money

People are convinced that money is sexy. I remember from my childhood seeing that cartoon intro where Scrooge McDuck dives in to his pile of money for a swim. For some reason, we think that having money on us just feels good, like Demi Moore rolling around in a bed with Robert Redford’s money in Indecent Proposal. Well, for those who don’t know, paper money is probably one of the dirtiest things in the world.
No, I’m not just talking about the money in Africa. I’m talking about everywhere. While US dollar bills might not show the grime they’ve got, they’re dirtier than stray dogs. Just think about all the hands that have touched that bill over the course of its 20+ years in circulation. Think of how many asses it’s been next to as it sits in a wallet somewhere waiting to be spent. Now ask yourself as to why you’re opening bathroom doors with a tissue and why you’re not handling your money with rubber gloves as there are far more nasty things in that paper than will ever be on the stainless steel door handle.
Of course, now I turn to the situation with paper money in Congo. Yeah, it’s dirty stuff and it shows it as you can see below. People are quite poor, so every bill is important. For bigger transactions, US dollars are used, but for smaller ones, the Congolese Franc is in wide circulation (around 550-600 of them to the dollar depending on the day.)
The dollar bills are dirty in Congo as well, but not like the Francs, which points to what is probably a more sub-standard paper that is used for the Francs, which picks up every bit of funk that they pass through, like this fellow. By the way that Franc in that picture will be accepted anywhere, whereas a dollar bill with the slightest whiff of imperfection (like a slight crease or being older than 2003) will be rejected.
In the end, after these monetary dealings, I trust no currency in any country now. My baths in $100 bills will now be tempered with long hot showers afterwards, despite how good the money feels on the naked skin.
Give us that Dirty Money