Fashion Police Day Off

It’s actually more like they’ve taken the last couple years off, since some really ugly things have come to rest on the backs of consumers. I’m talking about low riders and pleated skirts.
Let’s talk about the skirts first. I have no idea where these things came about because they’re not like the old ones that pleated all the way up and looked fine. These things have got a flare to them at just about butt level that makes thing kinda stick out from the hips. I don’t know how many women realize this, but that makes you look fat. The amazing thing is that girls with short legs are wearing them and they look short, fat, and like they have very stocky, fat legs. Now, it may be the case that this is your body type anyways and if so, don’t wear these things at all costs. Women like to hide what is bad and ladies, I gotta tell you, these skirts ain’t doing it. They’re making all of you (yes, even the models showing them off) look like hookers with poor taste and that is pretty low down on the fashion food chain. Why is this you may ask? Simple, gay men designing women’s clothes don’t care how women look in them. They are designing for pre-pubescent boys. Yeah, it’s a sick thought, but think about it for a second and it makes sense.
Haven’t we seen enough of guys who wear their waistbands around their knees? I never thought something so dumb would actually catch on. And I also thought that once it did, the doofuses wearing it would soon stop. My brother did thankfully, but I get confronted by this rectacarainial-inverted fashion all the time in the Bay Area. Why?!! Here’s what I think it says. FIrst off, you can’t afford clothing that fits. When I had my growth spurt my mom would always buy stuff that was too big because I would grow in to it and she didn’t want to pay to buy my new clothes all the time. This I can understand. Doing this when you’re 6’3″ and have obviously stopped growing because you’re 23, is something that I can’t understand. I think these guys think this is some kind of virility, like how in the days of old, they used to tie their belts extra long to show that claimed to have extra length in the groin. I think there something like this in the pants lowering. But, judging by how the gay men are checking out these guys, I think they’re taking it as a sign that if the pants are down, the ass is ready. Afterall, they already have a version of this in the latest gay leather wear, called the Assless Chaps.
So, to summarize, put a little thought in to your wardrobe before you wear it. Thank god we’re getting a H&M in SF this year…