Cup A Joe Wanker

There’s a good line in Trainspotting that is, “1000 years from now there will be no women or men, just wankers.”
This couldn’t be more from the truth as I keep seeing across the street from me at Cup A Joe this idiot who is so loud that I can hear him on my top floor apartment when he’s out there talking. I guess it’s somewhat understandable as he seems to have little else to do than be there, drink beer, and yack his head off to the one or two friends that are always at the table with him.
Obviously I’ve been around loud fools before, but this guy is special. He’s special because he thinks he’s special. How do I know he thinks this? Well, it’s quite plain to see really, he walks around with a god damned Chihuahua everywhere he goes (in the annoying Paris Hilton way, not the slighty humorous other way if there is such a thing), he’s pretty bald but seems to insist wearing his hair long in a much pronounced “Ben Franklin”, he is always wearing a fan jersey of some ball team or another (which the Chihuahua is often tucked in to and looks terrified thereof), and he blurts out his assinine words for the whole neighborhood to hear.
It’s really the last point that makes me know that this guy thinks that he’s is special and I realize that’s he special for thinking that. He does open up that paradox which many people hit upon, which is, how can some guy like this, who doesn’t seem to work afford to live in this neighborhood? It’s true we have a Cafe Society in San Francisco, but still I have yet to figure out this oddballs who manage to float in this town while I bust my hump out to Walnut Creek everyday to make enough money to afford my apartment here.