Body Penzion in Brno is Not so Good

As far as accommodation naming goes, it’s usually the hostels that take on screwy names like, “Love Hostel” or “Monkey Hostel” to try and catch the eye and detract from the fact that they’re all giving the same basic, hopefully clean room with little in the way of amenities. But the Body Penzion in Brno seems to be more than happy to carry a rather strange moniker.
The name leaves you scratching your head for quite some time until you arrive and see that these suites are situated above a plastic surgery clinic. Yes, that’s right, if you’ve seen the castle and get bored while in Brno you can get a little tuck or a lift with your stay. This was odd, but it could be overlooked if the place was run well, which is isn’t. Because it sits on top of the plastic surgery clinic and is actually run by the owners of the clinic, the only time that keys can be picked up are when the clinic is open. This is a problem if you arrive on a weekend. In theory if you contact them beforehand, they will meet you after hours to give you the keys. In practice this is easier said than done as they don’t check email when the clinic is closed.
So, say you let them know that you’re arriving at 2 on Sunday, but you email them Friday evening. Well, when you arrive there, you find that there is no one to let you in. This is not fun and after finding their mobile number on their website to text them, we were told that we were to wait until 5:30. At 6, some ditzy girl who apparently works in the clinic’s reception finally showed up to give us the keys. She wanted to charge us a 20€ deposit on the keys, which we found ludicrous to pay. Apparently people forget to return the keys and it costs them 4€ to make a new one, which I personally don’t care about as that is a cost of business and not my fault, so why am I to be charged this? As if that wasn’t enough, the key didn’t properly open the door as it’s one of these damned magnetic keys and not the old fashioned metal kind that we’ve been using for centuries with great success.
Once we were showed a detour to go through the parking garage and to the elevator to go up in to our room, we saw that the rooms weren’t too bad. The biggest catch being that they’re hot. They have no AC and no fan, so staying there when it’s warm is bad news. The other issue is that the kitchen they bill as being part of the suite is actually a shared kitchen between two suites, which I learned while sitting in the room with the door open, attempting to cool off in my boxers, only to see my neighbor walk by. She was probably less thrilled about this than I was while I was airing out my basement after a long, hot train ride.
Overall, the place could be okay. They just need to be honest on the website. They also need to really treat it as if they are running a hospitality establishment and not just a side business. I doubt that they’ll do this though as competition in Brno is rather slim, especially for some place that’s affordable. It’s a lot like Varaždin in Croatia in this manner and others. I recommend Brno just like I recommend Varaždin, but one needs to be forewarned about the difficulty in trying to find a proper place to stay.
Body Penzion in Brno is Not so Good