Berkeley Filth

Here’s an age old question: If a dirty deranged hippie craps in the woods of Berkeley, does anyone see it? Yes, yes they do because he craps in the god damned redwood grove at the west entrance to campus!
I didn’t think anything of the fact that when I first saw this guy he was taking a wizz behind one of the large redwoods that are there. Of course, I thought about it more as I walked away and realized there were scads of bathrooms throughout that were gleaming white and available for use. So… what was up with that?
All right, nothing more thought about it until yesterday when I was walking up the path through the trees and was greeted by said guy with his pants around his ankles, squatting, and taking care of a Number Two. Okay, WTF?!! Squirrels play there! And, and… That’s digustingly ridiculous. The worst part being that if anyone ever reported the guy, some wool-sock-with-Birkenstock wearing moron would try and stop anything from happening to him because he’s just a harmless soul in a turbulent world or something like that. Sure, that’s true… and he’s crapping on my school!!! If a frat guy did that, he’d get expelled. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s just to do that to a frat guy, but we can’t have a different level of punishment for meatheads as we do for skanky hippies living in the “forest”. Let me add that “forest” in this case is a grove of trees about maybe… an acre in size.