And Then I Drove

Normally, I’m a pretty peaceful guy. I have my moments, but as time goes on, I find myself more at ease with things. As I walk around San Francisco, I sidestep the crazy people, ignore the panhandlers and hustlers, and of course deftly avoid the cars. I’m thankful to walk as it puts me at ease with things.

Of course there are the times when I have to drive, such as this last weekend when I rented a car to drive up to my hometown. A whole different me comes out when I get behind the wheel. I’m kind of like that Disney Goofy skit where he change in to a crazed maniac as soon as his foot hits the accelerator. Needless to say, I don’t like driving and it stresses me out.

When I picked up the car, the craziness of San Francisco on a Friday night was coming into full swing. For those who haven’t driven around downtown on weekend nights, it’s pretty crazy. Parking is non-existent and so if you need to stop somewhere, you usually just pull up in front of wherever it is and toss on the hazards.

This is what I did when I had to pick up the girlfriend and as I’m sitting there, people would have to go around me, honking as they did, despite the fact there was a UPS truck in front of me and a guy with his hazards blinking as he sat on the other side of the street. There’s not really much way around it and the people who get upset are usually from out of town or stressed-out over-the-top SF dwellers. I’m not exactly sure where the guy fits in who pulled out from behind to stop and roll down his window to yell at me, “What do you think you’re doing?!!” A more wussful voice I’ve not heard before and it fits that such a pansy was driving a Range Rover to protect his tiny ass.

I should add at this point I was in a red Chevy Aveo. This is itself a pretty wussy car. I didn’t really want it, but it’s what I got. So, I don’t think the guy in the Range Rover knew what he was getting in to when he yelled, because I responded back, “I’m freakin’ parking!!!” At this point, I ripped out my seatbelt and started to get out of my car. Once the door was open I yelled, “You wanna have a discussion about it?!!” When I stood up out of the car all angst ridden, I wished I had a camera at that point to get a shot of his stunned little face as he peeled out of there.

If he got out of this feeling like he really told me off, great. He’s delusional though, since the size of his eyes is something I’m still laughing about.