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While it's a tad dated and was written quite some time ago, the entry in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for San Francisco, Earth is pretty damned funny and nearly true:       "A good place to go. It's very easy to believe that everyone you meet there is also a space traveler. Starting a new religion for you is just their way of saying 'hi'. Until you've settled in and got the hang of the place it is best to say 'no' to three questions out of any given four that anyone may ask you, because there are some very strange things going on there, some of which an unsuspecting alien could die of."