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Nothing Funny About Road Rage
On Thursday, we were getting a lift down the peninsula, when we came across massive traffic on 280 South. While traffic is endemic to life in the Bay Area, it is not a common sight on 280. As we crawled on, we came across the scene of an accident. There was only one car that seemed to have just slowed to a stop on the right hand shoulder. We shrugged it off as a hit and run or a drunk driver or any of the other things that happen on the road, which make it unsafe as hell (a mere 42,642 deaths unsafe in 2006.) The only thing really weird about the accident was that there was about 10 CHP cars there, which is highly extraordinary for any incident with one car.
Getting back home, I was glancing over the news and came across this story wherein a man was shot and killed by another motorist in an apparent bout of road rage and I realized that was the scene we had passed. All those who knew the victim say that he was a calm guy and given the fact he didn't open fire on the other car would seem to support this. He was just a normal guy with his two sons in the car, coming home from a long day at work and was shot by three idiots who will hopefully be found. This has to be one of the saddest things I've read in quite a while.
These types of incidents are on the rise here in the US with three roadway shootings this month alone. What's the cause? I think most all of us would agree that it's guns. Guns, guns, everywhere without the common sense to think.
Is there a solution? Besides getting rid of guns (which never seems to be an option for some reason), the only one I can think of is to ride public transportation. I'm sure that this will whip of some hysteria (which I'll thankfully not be around for, as of Tuesday) and those with SUVs will feel safer for some reason, although they aren't. Nuts are everywhere and while you may not like that homeless guy staring at you on the Bart your whole ride, I'll trade that any day for a group of three thugs in a car raining bullets down on me for cutting them off.
Scene of the accident. From SF Gate.
A Film by any Other Rating is Still a Film
Apparently, it's been time to play catchup in the realm of documentary film watching. While I watched Czech Dream awhile back, I just checked out This Film is not yet Rated a couple nights ago. This is a good film that digs in to the MPAA ratings board to find out who these anonymous people are and what gives them the right to dictate the ratings to the movies we see.
This movie is good. It started out by stating a lot of things I already knew, but I was happy to have it educate me in a great many more things that I did not know, such as some of the films that were originally NC-17 and then recut to R. It was also interesting to find out that all the blanket statements from the MPAA about the type of people who are on the board, are largely false. For instance, there is only one rater that had children within the young age group that the board states everyone has children in.
It was also interesting to see people dig in to the fact that sex is seen as a bigger problem than violence, which is pretty much the exact opposite in Europe. Apparently when it comes to sex, certain positions are okay, but once you start making the "business" the least bit interesting or show women thoroughly enjoying sex, that throws up red flags. Oh and naturally any kind of gay sex gets the big, "I don't think so." from the raters.
But, the biggest shock came with the appeals process when you want to try to get a lower rating than the one given by the board. The fact that there is a Protestant minister and a Catholic priest present was definitely news, but not much of a shock. The real shock was that everyone on the appeals board is in some way a film distributor. So basically, when you are appealing your film, you are not arguing a case to have it released with a lower rating due to a mistake by the raters, but you are in fact arguing to a group, who will decide if it gets a lower rating based on if it is marketable or not and what rating they need to give to hit whatever certain demographic they need to hit.
The unfortunate irony in all of this is that this film was given the NC-17 rating because of all the movies it shows clips from that were rated NC-17. I think that there is almost no swearing in the whole film by the people making it and obviously no nudity. So, the documentary, without the "evil" clips that it shows would actually have been rated damned near G. At some point, I hope that they recut it so that it can somehow be released on TV, since Americans really need to see this and see who it is that dictates morality on the silver screen through this outdated censorship program.
I hope this is scant enough to stop my blog from being unrated.
Rebuking CNN's Medical Care Abroad Article
I came across this CNN article the other day from the end of February. It's about the dire situation you put yourself in as an American when you travel abroad and that you must, absolutely must have travel insurance. Take a minute and read it. You'll be thrilled you did as I found the article to be ludicrous, poorly written, and most importantly completely without research.
Let's take a look at this. Who is the author? It's a woman by the name of Debra Alban. She is on the regular staff of CNN and appears to be more of a producer than a writer, although she has contributed some other pieces with sweeping generalizations such as this and this. Her approach seems to be to posit some bit of "fact" and then base the rest of her article around this with little detail given the intricacies of what she is writing. This seems to be more the style of FOX News and I suppose this is all subjective to tastes, but for comparison, look at any BBC News article and you'll see that they support what they're saying with a bevy of facts to back it up. Even what are basically op-ed pieces like Mark Mardell's Euroblog are supported by on the ground experience that is pertinent, relevant, and specific. You get the feeling from Debra's article that, while it is most likely not the case, she hasn't actually been outside the US in a long, long time.
The start of her article cites a 19 year-old girl in Spain who purportedly received less than adequate health care after an accident in Spain where she shattered her kneecap at a football match. This is Alran's prime example as to the dangers of receiving health care outside the US. Let's talk about this girl whose name is Orla Buckley. She has a Bebo page where she goes by the name of Bootiejuice, which is simply prosaic to a point of transcendence. Bootiejuice lives in Ireland now and has a great many pictures up in her profile that focus around the primary activity of drinking. There is nothing wrong with this, except that for a reporter to base an article about health care outside the US on her activities, is inane. One can only assume that this girl was most probably drunk when the incident occurred (seeing as how she appears to be drunk a lot and was at a football match where drinking is the #1 fan pastime) and that her recollection of events is greatly skewed. Then of course there is the issue of Bootiejuice stating she has "intermediate" knowledge of Spanish. Americans have a wickedly bad tendency to overstate their ability with languages. By American definitions, I'm damned near the "conversational" level in about six languages: Spanish, French, Russian, Croatia, Bosnian, and Serbian. Given this and the fact that asking what was needed to be asked by Bootiejuice in Spanish is quite basic, I can only deduce that her level of the language was indeed poor despite what she says, or that she could speak the language well, but was indeed so drunk that she was unable to speak or understand anything. Thusly, faulting the hospital for not being able to explain the problem to her is blame severely misplaced.
Oh yes, there's one other big point that needs to be raised in using Bootiejuice as a source; her incident happened in 2003. This article has just recently been published in 2008. That is about half a decade which has passed since this happened. No matter the degree of verisimilitude to the event, how can this source be used? Simple. Alban couldn't find any more relevant source from a later date, because these incidents so exceedingly rare that she had to resort to cherry picking.
In all honesty, I would gladly have any kind of heath care done in Spain as opposed to the US, seeing as it it is 7th in WHO ratings and the US is 37th. Bootiejuice was actually lucky to have the accident happen in Spain, since they will treat anyone there regardless of coverage and it's easy for the American doctors to criticize about the surgery she had now, because it's always easier to criticize when you're not there. Travel insurance would have done little to help her though, unless of course she had the "evacuation" policy. I don't think people realize that travel insurance policies are a lot like extended warranties. There are rare occasions where if one is trekking through the heart of Africa they can be useful, but in day to day issues, they are about as bad as the main health care policies found in the US. For instance, a friend of the family had a mental breakdown on a recent trip to China and while she had travel insurance (and supposedly a good one) none of the cost of getting her out and back to the US was covered. Why? Because it was a mental issue and the small print didn't cover that.
In conclusion, I felt I had to bring this up as this article has been reproduced on many sites out there, since this is CNN and supposedly a reputable new agency. But, I question Debra Arlan's journalistic integrity. This article appears to be little more than a thinly veiled guise to advertise travel health insurance just in time for when people start thinking about the travel season again. The article is so bad and her arguments so weak that I wonder as to whether she was paid by an insurers group to write it? Obviously, I have to proof of this, but then again, Arlan's article puts forward next to no proof to back up her claims as well, so touché.
From Bootiejuice's, Mebo page. The face of your travel insurance reference. Rabbit ears always make these kinds of things easier to take.
Ah, The Annual Election
Yes, here we are again, having an election. It's not much of a surprise as we have had one every year in California for about as long as I can remember. Obviously, this year is extra special because not only is is a Leap Year, but we get the honor of two elections: one today and then our winner take all presidential election in November.
It's good that we are such an active democracy, but in reality, could we kinda compact these things in to one election every other year? I miss those days as do a lot of people it seems, since up until now, voter turnout has been pretty poor. Of course, the most pathetic election was the special election called by Schwarzenegger two years back that ultimately gave him a whopping good political spanking (which then allowed him to get re-elected in a "real" election) but at the same time cost the state millions of dollars to put on. Who needs universal health care when you can have elections, eh?
But, such as it is and people just keep having their elections each year. Being the good citizen that I am, I keep going to vote. This year, people are of course fired up due to there being no incumbent which hasn't happened in some 50 years or so. In the end though, I don't see it effecting the ultimate conclusion of the race. Bush and the Republicans did such an amazingly good job in handing the 2008 race to the Dems that if they don't win, they should close up shop as a party and the Greens get in there. It doesn't matter that Cheney isn't running
In some ways, I envy the Republican voters. They actually have a choice at this point between candidates who are actually different. For we who vote the Democratic Party, if you look at Clinton and Obama, there is almost no difference in their platforms. Their debates are like listening to someone try to tell you how last night's lasagna differs so greatly from the same lasagna reheated the next day. Ultimately, it appears that we get to choose being the white woman and the black man (take a look at that link, it's a great article.) Honestly, I'm happy with either choice as they'd be such a great chance from the bible thumping hick that we currently salute. It took me a long time to choose who to vote for in the primary, but I ultimately went for Obama as he's a fresh voice in politics, albeit one we know little about. If Hilary gets the nomination, I'll still be happy to vote for her, just not as happy as the women my mother's age who will be happy to see "hunk o'love", Bill back in the White House, even if just in the roll of First Man. I'm still waiting for this onion article to come true somehow.
Fodor's Hawaii Failed Us
I really don't get it. Who exactly is the, Fodor's Hawaii for?
I asked this question repeatedly as this thing let us down repeatedly in Hawaii. Usually I stick to the Rough Guides as they are full of the history of a place and slightly snarky in tone due to their "British edge". But, I thought, hey, let's branch out and try a different one, which ended up being Fodor's.
Most guidebooks tend to have a focus audience. Rough Guides are good for Europeans and the slightly adventurous type. Lonely Planet are all around good, but I tend to not prefer them as they don't travel the way I like. Moon used to be for the hippies, although I don't know their true focus anymore. Let's Go are strictly for students and those on a budget who want to party wherever they go. Bradt are just awesome for those that want to adventure and see the unseen. I mean, who else has a Kosovo (a contested region), Democratic Republic of Congo (a conflict region), and Iraq (a flat-out war zone) guide? Bradt, that's who.
So, I didn't really know where Fodor's fit in. I thought it was something like Lonely Planet with a definite angle about catering to Americans. I was wrong, but I wasn't completely wrong. In fact, I don't know where I sit and I have no idea who Fodor's is for.
If you're an adventurer, it is crap. We had to find a good number of things on out own and it never points out hole in the wall places to eat that can be great and cheap. Also, we had to find most of our own accommodations online because they seem to like to show the midrange places and up.
If you're a beachgoer, it sucks. We found that the best, cleanest and most enjoyable beaches were in Kauai, which were hardly covered. They seemed to like to pick the dirty, crowded beaches. Maybe some people like these as they feel safe and at home on them? I don't know.
If you're a Lazy Fat Pale Scared American (LFPSA) the book is bad as well. While parts of it seemed to cater to the LFPSA crowd, they would flippantly mention things like the Haleakala Crater hike as an outing and not point out that LFPSA's would die doing that hike. It also doesn't really give very good layouts of itineraries because LFPSA's need to have everything planned for them, although maybe they do this through package deals to the islands. Again, I don't know.
Lastly, it's inaccurate. The pass you get for Haleakala National Park is not good for a week as they say in the book, but three days, making it rather hard to reuse for Oheo Gulch and the Crater. Also, the beach at Polihale is correctly labeled as one of their choice beaches in the guide, the information about the are is dead wrong. For one, that beach is officially closed. Two, the road is not just rough on a car, it's damned near impassable. Spots really require a vehicle with a solid eight to ten inches of clearance to make. You can do it in a rental car, but it's very, very rough. Lastly, there are no facilities out there due to a broekn water pump. All the bathrooms and showers are closed. This information has been known online since mid last year, yet they went to press with it like this.
In general, I got the feeling that the guide was lazy and places hadn't been visited for awhile. This is sad, seeing as how Hawaii isn't Croatia. Things aren't changing from year to year. It's the US and it's been a continuous tourist destination for decades.
So, from know on, I'm sticking to my Rough Guides and Bradt books. One alternative that is good for this region about the books from Wizard. Despite the cheesy name, their Maui Revealed and Kauai Revealed guides are extremely in depth and detailed. A friend loaned them to me and they were good resources to balance out the craptacularness of the Fodor's. Dog Eared Books, a very unused Fodor's is soon coming your way!
Adiós libro de mierda!
Hawaii gets a D+ in Green
For those whose geography is extremely limited, Hawaii is surrounded by water and it seems overwhelmingly populated by white hippy types as well as the few native Hawaiians that are left. It has all the earmarks of being a legendary, closed-loop system that could near biodynamic status because of its isolation. Admittedly, tourism is a massive industry there and tourists create waste, but at the same time, they create waste from materials that are already there, since you can't bring most foods in to the state or bottled liquids.
So, out of all of this, it would seem that a great recyclo-sphere would arise. The islanders would compost and return everything that is from the island back in to the island. After all, it seems that with America's realization that there is no more expansion possible, we are starting to realize how small the world actually is and in Hawaii, it would seem that this realization is something you'd have for breakfast as you can look from one end of each island to the other.
But, no, Hawaii is horrible when it comes to being environmental. As I mentioned previously, there is a bus system, but it's limited. For the size and amount of people who visit these islands, there should be a massive public transportation grid that runs electrically (Hawaii could easily make use of wave generators for electricity as well as solar electricity). No, everyone has a car and everyone drives, including those of us who travel as tourists, which I was very unhappy about.
Then there is the waste factor. Obviously, in current society, we have waste. It is the type of waste and what we do with it which dictates how low of an impact we're having. First there is the issue of recycling. You'd think you were in 1950's on Hawaii with how pitiful the recycling initiatives are. They only seem to recycle glass and aluminum containers and some plastic bottles. I saw no bins for paper or other materials. I might add that these bins are all hard to find. As a tourist, I really don't want to trash the place I'm staying in and regardless to what those in touristed areas think, a great many of us try to not be slobs. They make it hard in Hawaii though. It's much easier to toss your waste in to the trash than recycle it. We drove around with bottles and cans in the car for three days in Kauai to try and recycle it, only to end up leaving it at the place we stayed in the hopes that they're green-minded and will put it somewhere that we couldn't find. I'm than happy to let them have the deposit money if my waste doesn't end up in the garbage.
Beyond the recycling, there is the non-environmentally sound waste that is created. Countless places we ate at had no plates or eating utensils that were reusable. It seemed that they were more interested in using plastic forks and knifes along with those god forsaken styrofoam plates to serve the food on. Once done, they would just toss all of this in the trash, like our server did at Aloha Mixed Plate in Lahaina as he "bussed" our table by throwing away everything we used.
Needless to say, I was shocked at all of this and had to wonder as to where does all of this go? Do they toss it down a volcano? To some extent it appears to go in to landfills. This practice is unfortunate on the mainland, but insane on a place like Hawaii where there is such limited space. I really hope (but somehow suspect) that a good deal of it is loaded on to barges and dumped out at sea. If that's true, then I'd downgrade this state from a D+ (which they earn only due to their minor recycling efforts) to an F.
Maybe someone can fill me in on more of this. I'm really in the dark and am only basing this on my observations of people living on the islands. I am more than happy and would be very relieved to be corrected.
A meal in Oahu on paper plates. One on Kauai with a syrofoam carton. Another in Maui on styrofoam plates. All of these came with plastic eating utensils and all were tossed in the trash when we left.
Yes, There are Buses in Hawaii. Use Them!
Our ridiculous Fodor's guide seriously downplayed the buses in Hawaii. Repeatedly it stated that you really needed a car to get around. Sure, cars make life a lot easier in Hawaii, but driving everywhere sucks. It wasn't until we got to Oahu and took the bus that I really felt like I was on a vacation how I like to vacation. I mean, driving is fun and all, but losing the responsibility, cost, and worry of the car is fantastic, which is one of the reasons I like Europe so much: no car needed. Then of course there is the environmental factor as well. When 30 people are on a bus, you're simply not polluting as much as if you were 30 cars. So, for folks who are more eco-minded out there, I present a bit about the buses in Hawaii, since it appears no guidebook wants to go there. I just hope that more people will use them and the system will develop more.
OAHU
Probably the most developed and extensive of all of them and there is a Ferry system that ties in to it as well. At $2 a ride, it's not the cheapest bus out there, but you can do things like get from the airport to Waikiki without using a $15 a person shuttle. Officially, you're not supposed to bring large luggage on the bus, but we did and it worked out. We were the only ones doing it unfortunately which goes to show that too many idiots overspend while on holiday and get sucked in to using a taxi from the vultures who constantly ask you if you want a ride.
MAUI
Not as extensive as Oahu and it serves mostly the west and central parts of the island. So, you're not going to get up to the Haleakala Crater or to Hana on it, which is a shame since those roads get very congested. For a quick view of where it goes, check out the system map
KAUAI
We saw a good deal of this bus and it appeared to have a pretty regular schedule that ran the whole gamut of the civilized part of the island. The Waimea Canyon can't be reached with it, but most everything else worthwhile can and it's only a $1.50 to go anywhere on the route, which is a really long route from one end to the other. The Kalalau Trail is stopped just short of as the end of the line is in Hanalei, but the adventurous can walk the distance and we saw folks doing this. But what I'd really recommend is to rent a bicycle while there and use the bus. They have a space for bikes on the front of the bus and everything short of Waimea can be reached from any of the stops.
HAWAII BIG ISLAND
They have one of the worst websites I've ever seen for a bus route, but it is apparently free. We didn't make it to the Big Island on this trip, so I can't speak as to any firsthand knowledge. Also, the site doesn't appear to have a system map, which is a bummer as it appears they have a good many routes and service seems good. It's something to look in to more if interested and hopefully anyone with more advice might leave a comment? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink...
Typical of the buses in Hawaii. This one happened to be up in Hanalei, Kauai.
Staying Cheap in Hawaii
It's a pretty well-known fact that the main costs in traveling are transportation, lodging, and food. In reality, these are the main costs of life in general, but they become ever more apparent when one is traipsing around carelessly. Transportation can be tough to save on, while food can be much easier. When it comes to lodging, savings can be had if one is willing to battle any number of elements, including crappy websites, minor shams, and taking chances.
We went through all of these problems as we looked for cheap places to stay when visiting Maui, Kauai, and Oahu. Given that I make no money off this blog (well, $20 or so a year in AdWords I guess), I felt that I might as well share what I found in the hopes it helps others out there in either saving money or avoiding rough places. So, here we go...
MAUI
Joe's Place - This is one of the (if not the) only places to stay in Hana on the east end of Maui for less than $100 a night. It's on the $55 a night cost of a double that I assume the place stayed in business. It's not luxurious. It's barely even basic. It is a place to stay if you want to stay in Hana and not pay a lot. For one night or maybe even two, it can be tolerable. We stayed for three and it was a bit much. Not only is there not a lot to do in Hana, but our room had a funk to it that can really only be described as "warm heaving fart". I do need to add that apparently our room was shampooed just before arrival and it seems the shampoo man did something nasty in there as the other rooms didn't smell like this.
While it is a cheap place, you do get stuck with other cheap guests and in the morning, these cheap guests are a serious pain in the communal kitchen area. If you can tolerate this and move on to greener pastures after two days, then enjoy. If not, get ready to pay $150+ a night for something like the Hana Hale Inn which was right across the street from Joe's and looked like a very nice place to stay. Hana Hale is also off the road a bit, and I gotta tell ya, this road sucks. It's incredibly busy despite how small Hana is.
Peace of Maui - This family-run affair is quite nice, situated up near the small town of Makawao. It's pretty convenient to the airport, Haleakala Crater, and most anywhere you need to go. Tammy is a super host and keeps the rooms very clean. She opens up her wifi free of charge and even has a communal computer for folks to use, although, she can't guarantee that these items will always work (I managed to get us two free t-shirts gratis for fixing the communal computer while we were there).
At $55 a night, you really can't beat the place and it's no wonder it always gets recommendations in every guide there is on Hawaii. The only downside are the often aggressively outgoing guests who don't leave you alone to relax and have loud conversations in the communal kitchen in the wee hours of the morning. Hit a quiet group and you're golden. Hit a noisy group and they're worse than chickens on Kauai.
KAUAI
Kauai Palms Hotel - Nothing mind blowing about it. It's pretty clean and a decent place. The rooms are small, but the beds are big. They have cable TV there for when boredom hits after the sun goes down and it's a convenient place to the airport, which also means you can hear the few planes that take off out of Lihue.
It costs about $65 a night, which isn't terrible, but also isn't the cheapest deal on Kauai.
One bright side to the place is this cheeky cat with a lot of personality who waited outside our room for three hours just so that it could play with something. Another bright side to the place is that it's a two minute walk around the corner from the super cheap Hamura Saimin which has some of the most kickass food on the island.
Aloha Estates at Kalaheo Plantation - The long title is undoubtedly to avoid saying that it's a "hotel" so it can stay under the radar with the license issues. But, this is a very nice place in Kalaheo, which is in the middle of the south side of Kauai. The place has been nicely remodeled and each room has a pleasant theme to it.
That being said, the owner is a bit of an ass. The website says, $45 a night for the Bamboo Suite where we stayed, but the owner slipped through charging $55 a night for it. This was cheeky by itself, but the room also has a massive funk to it that makes it smell like a locker room. The other rooms might smell better as they don't have bamboo coverings on the wall, but we wouldn't know as we didn't stay in them. There is also the issue of the damned roosters in the back yards of neighbors, which will inevitably wake you up.
It's all quite a shame, as the place seems to have a lot of charm and I might recommend staying in one of the other rooms or suites as long as the owner doesn't mess with the price and you bring some earplugs.
OAHU
Waikiki Hostel - Yes, that's right, we stayed in a youth hostel. Only being in Honolulu for one night made this the cheapest and most sensible option and overall, it's not all that bad. For $60 a night, you get a very basic, yet clean bed in a small room with a private bath and shower that you don't get the creeps about using.
We feared that there would be constant noise of party goers in the area, yet despite being the center of Waikiki, it's surprisingly quiet. It may have had to do with it being a Sunday night, but we saw plenty of nyuk-nyuks heading out to the bars as we were heading home to sleep, so the night was definitely alive.
As weird as it is, this was probably the most quiet night and restful night we spent in all of the three islands we visited.
The Delicacies of Hawaii
As I pointed out earlier, Maui has got the beef. But of course, a lot of people make a beeline for all the other foods you can get on the islands, which include a great many things that you can get on the mainland like Italian, French, Mexican, and Chinese. Since I can get these readily in San Francisco, it begs the question as to why on earth I'd eat them while traveling. I mean, apparently, the offer is quite good, but again, why not try what the locals eat?
Thus we found the ultimate culinary path to the plate lunch and saimin. The plate lunch is ubiquitous around Maui and tends to consist of some form of meat with rice and macaroni salad of all things. It has its background in the fact that multiple cultures (like Chinese, Japanese, and Filipino) mixed in with the Hawaiian culture to create a lunch that they shared amongst each other when they were working on the plantation. It's quite good and I find my favorite to be either the pig or the chicken. These elements are both prepared in a truly Hawaiian manner and give the dish a touch that make it worth seeking out, as you're not going to find this on the mainland very easily. Even in San Francisco about the only thing I can find is Samoan plate lunch down in the south city, which is also great, but a good deal different. When on Maui, head over to Lahaina, to the north part of the town where you'll find Aloha Mix Plate. It's a nice setting along the water and offers a good selection.
Then there is saimin, which I can only really compare most closely to a Vietnamese pho. It is a noodle soup of saimin noodles (thus the name) with any variety of meat tossed in there. The test of a good saimin lies in the broth that they use and this place on Kress Street in Lihue, Kauai called, Hamura Saimin makes up the bestest. Apparently they serve up some 1,000 bowls of saimin a day and it's not touristic at all, with locals comprising the majority of the clientèle and a greasy spoon atmosphere to the joint that gives it some street cred.
I suppose the real reason I bring these options up is because when visiting an area, it's best to try the local cuisine. But, it's also the case that eating out in Hawaii tends to run a bit more expensive than on the mainland and these local dishes prove to be some of the cheaper options available. Cheap, filling, tasty, and good always make for a winning combination with the foods that I eat.
On top we have a plate lunch in Lahaina, Maui and on the bottom, a saimin in Lihue, Kauai.
Kalalau Trail in Sandals, Bitches
There was this one guy I hired when I worked at a previous sometimes office who really had a thing for saying stuff like, "Yeah, I got a Coke, bitches!" He always meant it in a joking way and in some regard it was indeed funny. Thus the reason that I bring it up again when talking about hiking in Kauai in that I find it funny, not that I have a Coke.
Kauai is a pretty wild island that covered in jungle everywhere, which is cool because it's been the first spot in Hawaii where I've really felt like I've gone somewhere that doesn't remind me of California at all. There aren't as many parks as on Maui, but the ones that there are, I think are much better. For instance, there is the Kalalau Trail which is in the far northwestern corner of the island as part of the Nā Pali Coast. You basically drive on one of the highways until you come to the end of it and then you park and do one of two things. If you're a lazy beach goer, you jump in to the water that's there. If you're more adventurous, you hike down the trail, get sweaty, come back, and then jump in to the water possibly checking out all the tropical fishes in the lava reef if you have a snorkel.
While not the most hardcore hikers out there, we like to adventure, so we headed down the trail, surrounded by people taking what were basically strolls whilst swaddled in very nice hiking boots, huge backpacks, and those damned walking sticks. I only bring this fact up because the juxtaposition between us and all these folks was hilarious. Here we were with just our cameras, shorts, and Reef sandals.
These sandals are more meant for strolling through sand dunes and here we were walking over knobby roots, slick mud, and rocks that in reality weren't all that tough, yet required a certain degree of aptitude in walking. The trail is quite nice and enjoyable though. You feel like Indiana Jones (which happened to be filmed on the island) as you make your way down it and get the great views that line the path. We made it in about two miles to the Kalalau Beach, which really was uninteresting seeing as how it was some big boulders than rolled directly in to a five foot beach and thunderous surf that's killed nearly 100 people who tried to swim in it. Not wanting to spend the full day on a hike, we turned back at that point, just like the vast majority of people "hiking" the trail in their super gear.
Of course, we walked along and managed not to slip while at the same time, going faster than anyone else. I couldn't help but laugh at the "potential utility"* of all the Americans walking along. I imagined them getting ready for their trip and going to their nearest REI to get outfitted for their, "odyssey" in the wild island of Kauai. Naturally, REI loves to serve and outfitted they were.
While we got many an ugly stare at our sandals by many an ugly chubby face along the walk, the Americans were amazingly reserved in making any comments. It took a group of Spaniards (they always travels in groups) to notice that we were wearing sandals and tell us, "Oh no, you can't go ahead in sandals. It's too difficult!" I was waiting for an additional, "Surely you'll be killed!" which didn't come, but you can't ever get mad at Spaniards. They meant their warning in a truly concerned, albeit zealously cautious way, whereas if any of my countrymen said it, it would be to try and prove me wrong, because they and Callum at REI knew that you had to have $600 in hiking gear to cross the perilous Kalalau Trail, which in reality, you just don't. I mean hell, the people who used to live out there would carry fish and herd cattle along the damned thing and all without a retractable carbon filament walking pole. Natives knew their business, bitches.
* Potential Utility - The need of Americans to always have more than what they actually need so that they know it's there in case they need it, even though they won't. Examples include the Sport Utility Vehicle and Convertible Pants
Just one minor segment of a very long trail and this is a very good part of it.

