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I saw them on my first visit in 2003, but the fact that the public toilets in France are free didn't really sink in until this trip. Yes, to all of those living in the pay-me land of San Francisco's non-free public toilets, you heard me right. The toilets that they put out cost nothing to use in Paris.       This makes a lot of sense because it greatly cuts down on the amount of filth that humans may leave in the street. San Francisco has to learn from this because some guy down on his luck is going to use any change he has to buy another bottle of booze and not put his hard-begged money in to a thing he can do for free in Capp Alley. Of course, San Francisco makes you pay something because they're worried about guys sleeping in there or doing drugs in there. I don't know what the French think about this angle, but it seems not having human poo on city streets is a higher priority.       I have to admit that I didn't actually get around to using one of these Love Johns, but I did witness a great many people going in and out of them. Maybe they were doing drugs deals? On a quick glance, I have to say that they looked pretty good inside. In fact, they were a great deal cleaner than many I restaurant's bathroom that I had used.       So, it seems like it's a pretty good idea overall. Now if only they could figure out something to do with all the dog crap for those who suffer Paris Syndrome.

Okay, I admit it, I've written a bit about toilets here and there. Some would say that I might have a fixation with them, but if that's true, then so do some friends and other friends as well as most of Catalonia.       Regardless of this, I must write about the "shelf toilet". I have heard it talked about and even seen diagrams of its operations, but I never thought I would be confronted with one in person, but did at Hotel Park. When looking down at this new porcelain friend I thought, "To say that this is 'not right' is to say that the war in Iraq was a boo-boo." These are evil and if you don't believe me, take a glance down at the photo below and come back for more.       You see, how this works, and really, I wish I didn't know was that whatever you do sits on that little shelf you see there. There is a little bit of water from the last flush there, but really, it's quite dry and thusly, your leavings are just left out to breath until you flush. Yes, it's not healthy. Yes, it's really the last thing most of us want to be confronted with when doing basic bodily functions.       But, there is the next mechanism in this whole thing and that is the flush. When you pull the handle, a delightful splash of water comes down the shelf and gleefully whisks your leavings off the shelf with a fun sliding action, taking them down in to the part of the toilet where they should have been in the first place. But, because of the water action, things don't always completely flush, requiring more gentle dousing of the shelf by the ineffectual water. Joy. Joy.       Perhaps for those who are fascinated by their own leavings, this is a dream come true. In which case, these people should form a society and have any of these contraptions left in the world sent to them. In fact, I would propose doing this, ripping out these contraptions from daily use. They are foul and whomever came up with this (I suspect Germans) should be put in a forced labor camp with nothing but a trench latrine.

My friend, Zagreb Dinko wrote on his blog recently about his frustrations with American toilets. I have to say that while I've not written about this here, he is right on all points. We have a real sense of denial about bodily things here. That's not a water fountain in your bathroom, Kohler. Build it accordingly.       On a similar note, I'm sorta happy to say that they've installed automatic flushers on the toilets at the office I sometimes work at. At first I was thrilled, since anything that brings a toilet to the level of airport toilet (simply the best on the planet and a bar by which to measure all others), but I have to say that these kinda disappoint. They're too fast, made of plastic, and robbed me of a great deal of control I once enjoyed. But more importantly, is nobody freakin' potty trained anymore?!! You know, the only reason they install these is because people don't flush anymore. It's not for cleanliness, oh no. I remember another office that I worked at sometimes where people would just run out like these naughty little children when they were done in there, a grin on their face as they, "got away with it". And I'm not talking about Jackass-esque guys being idiots. I'm talking about 55 year old sales women.       I guess that people in the US always think that there is someone from Mexico or the Phillipines, or Eastern Europe who will literally deal with their poo. Wake up folks because I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think all our problems in this country today are starting in the bathroom. Ergh. Peace out and remember to flush... if you are still allowed control of that action.