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Yesterday was one of those marathon sessions of 15 hours that I thought I had left behind in my 20's, but apparently not. The net seems to not be a workplace for old men...       But, after getting out this monstrosity, which was delayed several times by people having to do the QA after a launch and then a retraction and then a launch again, I found some solace in the following video:              Yeah, I know. I'm posting a lot of videos lately from things that amuse me. Has the web really come to this? Well, yeah. It's either this or more bitching about crippies and art students. Who needs that?

Airborne. Most of us know it. Some of us question whether it works. Others swear by it. I'm not sure which camp I fall in to, but the company that makes it does a really good job preying on those of us who believe that spending $6 or so for a package of it will allow you to avoid illness. Same thing goes for Purell which ironically I'm not a big believer in.       The strange thing with these products is that you don't see people on relief missions in post-conflict areas using them religiously (I assume they use things that actually work); you see people in offices using them. It all relays the fact that people in offices are terrified of getting sick and not being able to work, when in reality, if they really wanted to avoid illness, then they should avoid the stress of being in the office 12 hours a day. Anyways, this is just an American attitude towards work and social interaction to which I am digressing.       The reason I bring all of this up is because at The Sometimes Office, I wasn't feeling so well one day, so I popped an Airborne, leaving the tube of the pills on my desk when I was done. The reaction from those who came up to me was unanimous. They started talking, glanced down, and then jumped back once they saw the Airborne Tube (or Tube of Doom as I call it.) "Oh, um... are you sick?" "Maybe." "Okay, I'll stay back." This is a pretty funny thing to say since A) Most cold germs aren't spread through the air (making the name 'airborne' even funnier) and B) If they were spread through the air, then the closed ventilation system has got you hosed.       Working in computers and office environments, I've found that it is true you catch colds and flus through contact, specifically computer keyboards and mice. Those things are crawling with germs in their plastic depths. Having one or two stints in Information Technology, I realized that I caught everything that anyone had in the office because I would have to get on their keyboards. The only upside was that because I couldn't ever call in sick (not enough staff to do that), I would come in and spread viruses from one computer to another. Calling me Patient Zero or The Carrier would be a bit of an understatement. Did I try Purell? Yup, as well as sanitizing baby wipes. Didn't matter. Those little germs are quite resilient buggers and are built to spread.       Now that I've refocused on web development again for the last couple of years, I get sick a lot less because I'm on one machine. There are lessons to be learned in this:        - don't do IT        - do web work        - Airborne probably doesn't work        - A Tube of Doom on your desk is more effective that the "George Frown"        - Purell really doesn't work        - Go to Mediterranean often

I think there are two reasons that I'm such a tea nut and love doing my Tea Reviews. The first reason was a trip to London in 2004 where I was exposed to good tea for the first time and got hooked. The second was due to this bit I saw on Good Eats where Alton Brown went in to the depths of food geekness in talking about tea. It was a good show, but it was his "recipe" for the perfect cup that really got me hooked on tea and as any reader of this site knows, it's a bit of a passion for me.       One thing that Alton went on and on about was the need for perfect water when making tea. I had been somewhat taking this for granted because I brew at home or get a cup where they boil the water properly. It wasn't until I tried using the hot water in the office water cooler that I realized how important it was to have good, properly boiled water. I would rather be tired and un-caffeinated than drink tea made that way because really, it sucks.       It wasn't until recently at one of my sometimes offices where I pointed out the fact that the coffee drinkers get all these fancy coffee pots, $500 espresso machines, and what not, while the tea drinkers are stuck with the crappy hot water thing on the water cooler that makes me prefer Starbucks. So, after much hassling, I managed to have them get an electric tea kettle. Specifically, this on from Sunbeam. The only catch (which I didn't think of as an issue at first) was that it's made of plastic. This probably isn't a big deal to most people seeing as how nearly every damned thing is made of plastic these days, but really it makes a difference. While this pot will actually get the water to a rolling boil, there is something never quite right with it. Tea doesn't steep as dark as it does at home and there is always this slight air of plasticness to it that I don't quite care for.       All things told though, I greatly prefer this over the water cooler and it is a lot better than spending $2 every time I want a cup of hot water and Indian leaves. Still, it's not great and short of having a gas burner with a proper Chantal kettle (god I love these) in the office, I believe this is the best I will get. Quite obviously, I need my own company and office...

So, let me get a little technical for a moment. You see, out there in the work and professional world there exists the IT Manager/Director who tries to enforce how people use the internet at a office. For awhile, when I did my stint in this field, I tried to do this, but found it to be futile and get people to hate me so I stopped bothering and let people run around doing whatever the want. Human Resources could deal with any issues that there were, not me.       There is technology that can make this type of censorship possible. One specific device that many insecure little IT minions use is called a Proxy Server. I will not bore you with the details of this except suffice to say it gives the IT boys infinite control in one spot for all the sites and places that people in an office can visit. For the man who can't buy a Porsche, this is a dream come true. For the end user, it makes life hell.       The biggest problems in using these is that they're old technology and while there are new ones out there that are supposed to be good, they really suck for the most part. Having this one point where all internet traffic is funneled creates a massive bottleneck in the transport of electronic information. This generally results in the damned device crashing often. Then of course there's the fact that un-Porsched guys can't configure the things correctly to save their lives and wonderful things happen such as when you try to go to a site that doesn't exist and it crashes your browser. Super sucko.       I could go on and on about how these get overloaded and just what a generally bad idea they are, but I'd like to offer and alternative which is to stop caring and buy more bandwidth. There is one Sometimes Office that I've worked at where they had two T1 connections (pretty fast) and they weren't enough speed for the office. So, instead of buying a $70 a month DSL connection that would have been three times faster than what was there, the IT guy decided to put in the proxy server to control things. This ended up being one of many bad moves by the guy.       I managed to live with it, but the office suffered a lot of downtime. Why they keep him around, I don't get it, but I realized now why IT is so hated and I'm thrilled not to be part of it anymore!

In The Sometimes Office, it's often the case that the elevators are slow. Some days, it's actually faster to walk the nine or ten floors when going down. But, if one was to do that, one would miss out on the little screens in the elevator called, the Captivate Network.       If there is a more aptly named company, I've not heard of it. The fact that you're a prisoner while watching these little screens is something that I've thought about often. Sure, it's another invasion of space by the media in this country, but is it really the case that you'd rather just stand in the elevator while going up or down? Some might say yes, some no. For me, I'm indifferent as this is a sometimes office and I'm not there all that much. I'll readily admit that they do a good job of varying the content and keep it lively. It's just really funny when things don't change up so much and you realize that everyone you work with is reading the silly thing because we're all grumbling about it not changing.       I'm curious how widespread these will be some day. Is there a point where this might be the next format in film? The 30 second elevator ride? It's a thought and something that could actually make these pretty damned cool.

Argh. So, space is at a premium and when you're just a part time contractor at a place, you kinda have to deal with what's given. My only gripe is that it goes over the top sometimes. Take for instance one of my "sometimes offices" where I work, well, some of the time. I was in a cube for awhile when I came in and while that wasn't that great, I am discovering that it was actually pretty good. You see, I've been moved to this little spot back in the corner in front of another guy's space. It looks a little like I've been pad and have been put in to the corner as a "time out". Who knows, maybe this is the case. Of course, to add insult to injury, the table that I work on wobbles like crazy and so my monitor is bouncing all over the place while I work. By the end of the day, I feel a little seasick from all the movement.       It's only temporary I'm told. I hope that's true since I think I'm going to go insane otherwise. It's one of the rare moments where I praise and love the iPod for its ability to block out everything that is not me. Definitely not my prepared choice of a work environment, but given that or overhearing phone conversations with outsourcing consultants, I'll take the iPod any day.

My friend, Zagreb Dinko wrote on his blog recently about his frustrations with American toilets. I have to say that while I've not written about this here, he is right on all points. We have a real sense of denial about bodily things here. That's not a water fountain in your bathroom, Kohler. Build it accordingly.       On a similar note, I'm sorta happy to say that they've installed automatic flushers on the toilets at the office I sometimes work at. At first I was thrilled, since anything that brings a toilet to the level of airport toilet (simply the best on the planet and a bar by which to measure all others), but I have to say that these kinda disappoint. They're too fast, made of plastic, and robbed me of a great deal of control I once enjoyed. But more importantly, is nobody freakin' potty trained anymore?!! You know, the only reason they install these is because people don't flush anymore. It's not for cleanliness, oh no. I remember another office that I worked at sometimes where people would just run out like these naughty little children when they were done in there, a grin on their face as they, "got away with it". And I'm not talking about Jackass-esque guys being idiots. I'm talking about 55 year old sales women.       I guess that people in the US always think that there is someone from Mexico or the Phillipines, or Eastern Europe who will literally deal with their poo. Wake up folks because I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think all our problems in this country today are starting in the bathroom. Ergh. Peace out and remember to flush... if you are still allowed control of that action.

A rather unfortunate thing happened the other day at an office I work at some of the time. You see, they built the bathrooms in the stairwell of the building which means that you you have to go up or down a flight of stairs to get to a mens' or womens' bathroom. Naturally this would be impossible with a wheelchair, so they build handicap accessible bathrooms on the actual floor, but only one for men and one for women. Seeing as how these are right outside the door, everything in the office just tends to use this just for the sake of alacrity.       One day, the receptionist looks up from her desk to see this large... well, let's just be frank, fat women in front of her. The woman starts yelling at the poor receptionist about the fact that she is handicap and that someone was using the handicap bathroom when she wanted to be using it. This was simply not allowed according to the fat woman because she was of the belief that handicap bathrooms were just for people who were handicap.       Obviously this woman was wrong on several fronts. A) Those bathrooms aren't just for the handicap. B) This woman was very large and overweight and I don't see how that makes her handicap. C) Yelling at the receptionist will never get you anywhere.       I was telling this story to a guest from Paris that's staying with me at the moment. Her first question was, "But this fat woman could walk, yes?" Yes, she could walk. "Then she is not handicap, no?" That kinda of all put it in to perspective and made me feel like emphasizing that being fat and getting a handicap placard for your car to park closer to places isn't doing anyone any good. Those damned fatcarts that I see incredibly large people riding are another example of the abject stupidity that surrounds the premise of what constitutes being disabled in this country. My guest also told me a story of riding the bus when she first got to San Francisco and seeing this large fat woman on a fatcart who had food with her. She said, "The woman was not really eating the food. She was just pushing it down her throat." Of course as soon as she talked on the phone with her parents, it was one of the first things she told them about. Yay, go American stereotypes! And this is n SF where people are generally more fit. Just imagine if she were in the Midwest or even the interior of California!

This article breaks down what I've been saying for years. For some reason, they're acting as if this is news (perhaps because it is a newspaper) but my little hoogie boogie plunkings around at the grocery store have led me to the same conclusion.       It's true. Eat basic foods not loaded with corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup. And stock up on the high fiber foods while you're at it. Toss in a bit of exercise here and there and you'll be fine. Don't believe me or the study? Just go to Europe. They lead this kind of life and seem to do pretty well.       I've lost about 15 pounds since I stopped working in Walnut Creek and eating all the crap food out there and what people keep around the offices. It's a tough thing to break, but really, it is your responsibility. Crap will always be with us. It is up to the individual to rise above it.