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Morons on Mopeds
Sweet paprika, if there is one thing during this trip that has brought out the grumpy old man in me, it is the moped (or moto or vespa or whatever else). These two-wheeled bastard vehicles are so prevalent on the coast that they're like an infestation. Always, the errrrrrr sound of their motors can be heard in the summer, screaming through the night. I wish for rain sometimes, just to shed this plague of locusts.
Typically, I would be all in favor of small vehicles that get good gas mileage, but in this case, there is a certain type that has flocked to this type of transport and they are idiots. They are usually always wearing shorts with sandals and more often than not, no shirt. A helmet is a rare sighting, although sometimes they have it around their arm. Often, they will be sms-ing somebody on their mobile while driving.
Okay, so this isn't really enough to warrant hating these guys just because they look like morons, but then there is the fact that they are either always guys or what appears to be a girl who has borrowed the moped from her guy. They are also all lazy bastards. They'll ride the damned moped 200 meters to get groceries or sit in the cafe. Why walk up a hill, when you can drive up that hill? Honestly, I'm surprised more of them aren't fatter.
But the real stone in the shoe is how they drive. Basically, they don't. They turn on the bike, accelerate and are just kind of there for the ride, not really steering, but more just bumbling. The amount of times I've been in a car and nearly hit by one of these twits is too many to count. There is this attitude that you're just going to move and not that you're in a vehicle ten times that weight and would gladly crush them in to a small, moronic mess.
Basically, when it comes to these guys, there are a lot of mothers who need to hand out a lot of slaps. They need someone to kick their asses in line, because I can see it in their attitude that they're the little princes in the family who can do no wrong. Then of course, everyone in the family is enraged and upset when their precious moron flies off the edge of the road and in to oblivion because he was trying to overtake a bus.
Not the best illustration of stupidity, but this is pretty typical with a goober up front and his woman on the back.
Why I'll Have Kids Some Day
When you read these kinds of articles, you realize that if you've got even half a brain, you owe it to the planet earth to find someone else with at least half a brain and have some offspring. The morons are breeding! The morons are breeding!
This is my favorite quote from the article:
"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."
Seriously, if you're a friend of mine, then you're most likely not dumb or ignorant. So, go have some kids already!

