So left because it's so right
I've been driving on the wrong side of the road for about five days now. I'd love to say that yes, it's due to an inordinate amount of wine drinking, but in reality, it's due to driving in what was a former British colony known more properly as South Africa. I'm in Cape Town, specifically and on the Indian Ocean/Kalk Bay side of the Cape. It's lovely here, but to get anywhere that I want to go (vineyards) means driving and that means coming to terms with driving on the left with a right hand drive car.
I think the first day was the worst when I was a passenger and I'm sure my host was getting tired of the constant, "Dude, where the fuck is the steering wheel?!!" jokes which were really just an echo of my inner terror as we throttled around the M3 at a "massive" 70kph. At ease, I was not.
The next day was my turn. I started off easy. A little trip down the road to the cafe for breakfast. Then a little run up the street. And then, full on driving at 100kph up to Stellenbosch, one of the wine regions. The fact that it was gusting rain and I was in a Hyundai that weighed maybe twice what I do helped the matter none-the-more. But, I did indeed make it. I also made sure to do only spit while tasting as there was no way that I'd handle being on the left side of the road while drunk, as the urge to drive in to the right (and in my head, correct lane) would be too great.
But it went well and it continues to go well. One of the only real problems I've found is that my left hand doesn't like shifting. It was very happy just hanging out on the wheel, turning on the blinker when needed. This new active role as shifting hand is not something it is pleased about one bit. The other problem is turning. Remembering which lane to take on the turn is something that I constantly have to think about and roundabouts require me to constantly remember to look right for oncoming traffic as I turn left.
All in all, it is indeed a tad berserk, but it's a berserk that I can handle. I still prefer the right side and driving on the left side of the car, but so far so good and I even hit the highway today in preparation for taking the car to the airport on Monday.
07 05 2010 0 comments
Tags: cape town, customs, in to africa, transportation
Al Fakher: The horniest of the shisha tobacco
Came across this in the market the other day here in Abengourou. I realize that in Arabic, "Al Fakher" probably means something nice, but the way it sounds in English is anything but. I just love the tagline of, "The incomparable Special Taste of Al Fakher". Thankfully, there are indeed more flavors than just grape Al Fakher.
20 04 2010 3 comments
Tags: arabic, in to africa, language
Songs I wish to never hear again in an expat setting
I was out in Zone Quatre (that's Zone Four in English) in Abidjan last Friday night and have been recovering from malaria ever since; surely it was unrelated. Anyways, we were meeting up with some friends to go and get what turned out to be some really tasty albeit costly steak at at joint frequented by what seems to be the entire UN mission in the country. Seriously, the parking lot is white 4x4 SUVs as far as the eye can see. As we had our starting drinks, things were fine. There was reasonable music. We were chatting. All was good.
As soon as we sat down to eat, WHUMP! The bass hit and didn't stop until we left. I couldn't even hear my mouth munching a fry. For some reason, every African place for expattery is typically drenched in ruminating, thick sound systems that play all the latest and greatest songs from back home that you were tired of six months ago or more. If I could go the rest of my life without hearing any of the following songs, I would die a happy man with much better hearing:
1. I Got a Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
2. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
3. Womanizer - Britney Spears (yeah, they still play this)
4. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
5. I'm so Paid - Akon
It's not that I don't like pop music. When done well, I can even write blog posts about a song. It's just that when thumping in my head and making me feel like dry humping a bull on a wall, I simply can't take it.
15 04 2010 3 comments
Tags: abidjan, expattery, in to africa
A quick guide to hotels in Mali
I ran around Mali a bit and saw what were all the big sites with the exception of Timbuktu, which, if you can believe it, was just too far away to make it there in the two weeks that I had. But whatever the case, I managed to see a number of hotels over the course of my stay and felt like sharing my general experiences like I did way back when for hotels in Hawaii.
It should be noted that there exists a great deal of confusion in AC vs. fan rooms. This is the first place that I've stayed where most every room has both and the extra (sometimes double) you pay for AC is not for a better room, but just to get the remote to turn on the AC. So basically, if you can forego the AC, you'll save oodles of money. My stay would have been much different had this been realized earlier on.
Bamako
Cauris Lodge
It's probably the least impressive place with the most potential. Overall, the place is decent. The rooms are okay and the garden is pleasant. There is a pool, but it has the look of never being swam in nor cleaned all that often. I didn't dip a toe in it during my whole stay despite the heat. The rooms aren't cleaned terribly well. We came back to find that during our stay they weren't cleaned at all as we "hadn't left the key and some guests don't like people to go in to their room." Lame never sounded so strong because if you don't want your room touched while staying there, you need to tell the staff that, otherwise, they clean it. This was just an easy way out of doing work.
It appears to be a mother and daughter team that run it. The mom is decently okay, but the daughter is exceptionally trashy, smoking all the time, including inside the hotel next to the rooms. They both yell at the local hotel staff in this patronizing French manner that makes my incredibly angry anywhere in Africa, but especially in a business situation as it shows that the owners are simply too ignorant and lazy to train the staff properly.
They claim to have wifi when in reality, they don't. Oh sure, the wifi signal reaches one table in the garden and absolutely no room, but you will have trouble connecting due to the fact that no one with Orange knows how to manage their router boxes. Don't depend on it working.
Oh, the restaurant is decently priced as far as hotel restaurants go and the food is overall good, despite the chef being an incredibly grumpy guy. Drinks are naturally very overpriced, which is ridiculous given that there is a shop just outside the hotel selling them for half price or less.
No website as apparently it's still 1992 for them.
Sarama Hotel
It's the top pick by Lonely Planet for a stay in Bamako, but it's pretty obvious that the owners kissed the ass of the writer who made that call. It's not better than any other hotel in the area. In some degrees, it's worse and the rooms aren't terribly amazing. Some are downright skuzzy. Also, because of the LP recommendation, it's full of backpackers and partiers. If that's your scene, then you're in luck. If it's not, you will be miserable.
Again, no website due to just having bought Aerosmith's Get a Grip on cassette
Comme Chez Soi
Hand's down the best place to stay in Bamako currently. It's only been open a few months, but from what I've heard, everyone who has stayed there loves it. It enjoys very high ratings on TripAdvisor which will probably grow even more with time.
The design is subtle yet classy. The rooms are comfortable. The wifi works very well and covers the whole place. The pool is fantastic and even too cold at times (trust me, 26C feels cool after two weeks in the heat.) The drinks are amazingly well-priced from their bar. Their local staff knows what they're doing and are very friendly, plus one of them makes stellar cappuccinos that even I enjoyed though being a big time tea drinker. The breakfast is great and included in the price. Really, I could go on and on about what a lovely oasis in the middle of Quartier Hippodrome that former nomads, Gael and Sonja have created, but you'll just have to trust me that it's great. Of course in posting this, I'm sure I will be out of luck in any future stays as it will be booked solid for months at a time.
Ségou
Hotel Bajidala
It's a funky place, but it's a nice place. While not in the absolute center of town, it's a great location that you can easily get to via RickCycle. Each room has personality and is pleasingly designed by local artists. There is also a museum there as well showcasing local art which is quite cool.
After staying in Bamako, waking up to have breakfast looking out over the Niger River across the way from a very nice old mosque each morning is very nice as are evening walks along the river. Oh yeah, the breakfast isn't included in the price, but it's quite reasonable and highly recommended as they make their own jams as well as serve local honey with your choice of tea of coffee. You can also choose to have dinner if you tell them early enough in the day as they only prepare one option per night.
The wifi wasn't accessible while we were there due to construction, but they did have a long cable to use which worked out alright, although given that it's the same Orange system, if they have multiple people using it, it will probably run in to the same problems as elsewhere.
The owner gets criticized as being a bit rude, but I found him to be fine. He's a bit of the eccentric artist type, but he was hospitable and friendly while we were there, plus he speaks French, Spanish, and English. Oh yeah, there's a very cute doggie running around the place named, Llop. It means "wolf" in Catalan and has to be the most ironic dog name in the history of dog names.
l'Auberge
It's a decent place in the center of town near the main river dock. It didn't blow me away, but it seems that all the expats who are there for "voluntourism" apparently live at the place, especially Americans. I suppose it's the proper amount of cheap with a decent level of comfort. That and it has a large bar, so of course folks are going to be in to that.
You would think a voluntourist would have hooked them up with a website, but no...
Hotel Djoliba
This hotel has been done a disservice by its website. It looks a great deal nicer than the photos let on. The restaurant is especially welcoming. While being overpriced, it is good and the setting is classy with its Colonial architecture. The rooms of the hotel are nice as well and being that it's right in the center, it's convenient to everything, although that might be too central for some people looking for a quieter time in Ségou.
le Faro
Nice, simple rooms and overall an enjoyable place. The layout is classy with a lot of open space and the bar/restaurant is pleasant. There is also a back terrace that opens up on to the Niger, which is really splendid to grab a drink at even if you aren't staying there. There is an old village next door to the hotel which is easy to visit on foot, but they have obviously gotten so many tourists, that the villagers are quite aggressive to visitors in trying to get gifts. Only catch with this hotel is that being 8km outside of Ségou, you definitely need a car to get there and most of the guests are package guests.
Djenné
le Campement
This is one of those rare places where the AC and fan rooms actually are different rooms, but still, the level of comfort is exactly the same. It's an okay place with mud-like walls that match the Grand Mosque, although if you can go with just the fan, it will cost you less than half. As it is, with the AC, it is rather overpriced and we didn't even touch the restaurant as it was far too much compared to some of the other options nearby. It's generally decent and fine for one night, but nothing to write home about; just to blog about.
The web in the interior of Djenné is a limited thing apparently.
Mopti
Hotel Ya Pas De Problem
A decent budget-ish option. The rooms are alright, but nothing special and in reality, it's probably overpriced for what it is, but so it goes when you enter the Dogon area. The rooftop restaurant is pretty cool though with a nice view over the town. If I were to return to the area, I would probably stay here instead of where I did, or I'd just skip Mopti altogether and stay in Sevare. A younger mix to the crowd. If you don't want party hotel, but still want to be around people in their 20s-30s, it's a good choice, especially for the possibility of coordinating rides and guides to Dogon.
Not liking the web thing although they have a lovely email.
la Maison Rouge
My most conflicted stay. Basically, it's an impressive, beautiful hotel that comes up short in a number of things that a hotel needs to do. You can read my TripAdvisor review which I still stand by despite the owner contacting me to debate some items that I stated which he claims I am wrong on. But again, it just tells a lot about the service really falling short of where it should be and the place screaming for a hotel manager instead of the owner taking on that role. The local staff caused a good number of problems as well though.
I should add that the restaurant was really quite good as it should be for the price, although it would be nice to see some more fusion options with local dishes in the menu. Of course, I doubt that the clientele are really looking for that in the package excursions. We were the youngest and probably weirdest couple to stay there as we didn't have a driver and walked in to town.
Bandiagara
la Falaise
It's basic, but a pretty solid option. The rooms are clean and met my needs fine. Restaurant was a bit overpriced and we went to a place run by a Cameroonian down the street which was probably just as good. A pool would be nice, but not to be. The wifi seems to work pretty well overall, although again, there is that damnable problem with Orange. Again, there is the AC/fan option and if at all possible, try to skip the AC as it makes the place a pretty decent price.
06 04 2010 0 comments
Tags: hotels, in to africa, mali, travel
My name is not Donne Moi nor Tubab
I think that it is best summed up in the Bradt Mali guide:
...think of the chains of children sticking out empty hands asking for pens and sweets and money and what not. Who was the first tourist to come up with the brilliant idea to teach these kids to do so?
It is a facet of Africa that I thoroughly, thoroughly dislike, especially given that it was something artificially created by tourists with no clue as to the environment that they are in. The act of dishing out any manner of things from sweets, to clothes, to money has done nothing to uplift the impoverished of the world, especially in Africa. It has only created dependent sects of society who then see those with the same color of skin as potential givers of gifts. It is not sustainable and all it does is make the ignorant believe that they have done something to help someone--which they haven't.
The amount of times I've heard "donne moi" followed by "cadeaux" (which means bluntly, "give me gift") are too many too count. I have gotten somewhat numb to it as well as the cat calls for "tubab/u" which means white person/people. You can blow off the first day or two of this, but given enough time, it wears you down. Naturally, the initial reaction is to yell, but we found that the better reaction is to tell the kids to give you a gift. That really blows their mind. Some just stand there, dumbfounded as to what to do. And then one or two just try grabbing at you or your near-empty water bottles that they get 25 Francs. Sadly, "no" has become my most used French word these days and I see a lot of Malian adults very unhappy as to what has happened with their youth.
As the Bradt guide goes on to point out, there is a solution to this. The first step in it is to stop handing out things to the kids. If you feel you need to give, then give to NGOs or other local groups who can actually work to build something for the community. Essentially, this charity mentality of North Americans and Europeans towards Africa is broken. Stop propagating it with tourism so that I can possibly be addressed as monsieur instead of "hey white guy!"
26 03 2010 1 comment
Tags: in to africa, mali, tourism
The Malian Tea-spresso
I was quite fascinated by the way that the Malians make tea and so of course, I had to try it given that I love tea.
It's a pretty basic black tea that they use. I've no idea as to the source, but I'm assuming Chinese as it's cheap to buy in the stores and there is no hint of Assam, Darjeeling, or anything else from India to it. They steep it by boiling it in the pot with the water. As anyone who knows how the process of tea works, this results in a mighty strong cup of tea. They cool it by pouring it in to these small glasses from a half meter up, pouring those back in to the pot and then pouring them again--adding even more strength to it.
As to the taste? Mother of god it's strong. So strong that I started to get a bit of headache after the first tiny little glass. I never knew tea could have this much of a kick. It's like having an espresso in tea form. In truth though, it's basically undrinkable in this form for me. It is far, far too bitter. But, with a solid dose of sugar and/or honey, it becomes quite good. Essentially in the same way that Turkish coffee works.
#1 Fan and I had to bribe a server at a restaurant to make it for us (well, we had to pay him to go out and get the tea leaves), but we've really been wanting to taste it in the street, except that everybody shares the glasses. It's a nastiness that I can't really do. We have bought two glasses though, so the next time we see them making tea, there is sugar, and we don't want to sleep for several days, we are so there with the 100 CFA ($0.20) for a cup.
21 03 2010 1 comment
Tags: in to africa, mali, tea
Defining West African hotels
#1 Fan has been dutifully trying to plan our trip to Mali. As my French is still, "du merde", I'm pretty useless in the process. That and I've stayed around enough places in Africa at this point to have pretty low expectations in accommodations, so I'm useless in choosing which hotel I should choose. This is why my stay with friends in their 6th floor apartment in the Plateau District of Abidjan last weekend was heaven, even with the power cuts.
So, in this search, #1 came across reviews on the Lonely Planet discussion board that should be taken as gospel. The reviews themselves were great, but it's the breakdown of what to expect in a West African hotel that was complete genius:
*The Standard: the "lock" on the ill-fitting balsawood door is extremely sketchy. The mosquito nets used to be white, but the lower edges are now... unwhite. You take in pillow-smell as you listen to the people hanging out on the street outside your window at night. Mattresses are distinctly concave. There might be a plastic shelf above the sink, or it may have broken off. The soap will slide into the sink, no matter what. You may or may not get a towel, it's like a fun towel-roulette. Plastic bathtub or just a drain on the floor - either way there's not enough water pressure to warrant a shower curtain. Broken tile floor with lots of dirt embedded in the grout. Handheld shower sprayer, and under no circumstances is the wall mount it formerly rested in still intact. TV Cable and mount are visible in a poorly chosen corner, but the TV is long gone. Frequent mosquitoes, occasional lizards. Do they eat mosquitoes? One can hope.**Below standard: comes with (someone else's) hairs all over the smelly pillow and sheets. No hot water. Makes you wish you were camping. You still pay 20k FCFA. Be glad you brought the sleeping bag liner, and next time make friends for goodness sakes and stay in someone's home.
Truer words have never been spoken.
04 03 2010 1 comment
Tags: hotels, in to africa, mali, travel
Renewing faith in West African repairs
"Oh god! Oh no! No! Help!!!" Fearing some near-collapse of the roof or some other disaster that would be the end of her life, I came running in to the bathroom to see #1 Fan standing in the shower over some washing she was taking care of. Behind her, where the faucet had been for the shower, there was just a jet of water shooting in to the opposite wall.
I told her to go outside and ask the guard to find the main water and shut it off. That was easily done and once finished, I was able to assess the damage. Yes, the faucet had indeed broken off. After a perfunctory two years of service, this cheap, possibly-not-metal-from-this-planet, Chinese faucet had just sheered off at the pipe. That was it. No threads to re-thread. No duct tape to re-apply. Our shower was dead and due to there being no redundant line cutoffs, the water of the house was off too.
This was a Sunday, in the evening. Looking in to the hole of the pipe, I assumed that the wall was going to have to be knocked out to replace the pipe. Basically, given the general perception of how long repairs can take in Cote d'Ivoire, I thought we'd be without water and showers for the next week. Still, we had to do something to start the wheels in motion towards a repair.
#1 Fan went out and found the block superintendent, who was, as usual, napping under a tree around the corner. He came in, looked at the problem and gave his standard-issue chuckle, which we were rather pissed at given that he wasn't the one who was going to be going bucket-shower for a week. He did call a plumber to come over and check out the problem. The plumber said he would come over right away on this Sunday evening.
Needless to say, we were in no end of shock when the plumber actually did show up 20 minutes later. With him, he carried an old rice sack which he had repurposed in to his tool box. He plopped everything down in the bathroom, eyed the broken faucet threads in the wall, pulled out a screwdriver and a wrench and went to work breaking out the threads. Naturally, the wrench was being used as a hammer as any tool can be a hammer, yet a hammer cannot be any tool.
In no time, he had cracked out the old threads. From the "tool sack" he then produced a new faucet. It was obvious the man knew this repair well. In a matter of 10 minutes, he had the new faucet on, readjusted, and re-pressured. And that was that. My mind was blown and stereotypes were needing to be re-thought, or at least tweaked slightly. In less than an hour, life was back to normal and it went to show that if living five degrees above the equator, once the sun sets, anything is possible.
23 02 2010 1 comment
Tags: in to africa, praving
The journey to Jacqueville
Not heard of Jacqueville? That wouldn't come as too much of a surprise. It's a town about 60km west of Abidjan in Côte d'Ivoire. While this is relatively close to the main city of the country, it happens that Jacqueville has no direct land routes. This aspect, in addition to missing signs makes it a tough spot to reach.
The ferry is really the biggest hurdle. It feels like you could throw a rock across the 450m of water that separates the island that Jacqueville sits on. To add insult to the injury, the ferry travels at 1/2km an hour, thus making the trip across this scant stretch of water take 20-30 minutes. It would seem apparent that given there are two ferries and that this isn't a massive destination, your wait time would be minimal. Au contraire mon ami, as the ferries take a lunch break that starts at 12:00 and goes until 14:00. If you hit it at the wrong point (as we did), you are stuck waiting there, staring at the other side of this miserable stretch of water for hours on end with a fat ticket guy shrugging and giving you a lame TIA excuse as to why the lunch breaks can't be staggered.
Once you load up and do get across, you then realize that it's 25km to get to actual Jacqueville. As you make your way along this quite good and straight road, you see that yes indeed, coconuts are the main source of revenue on this island. They are freakin' everywhere, growing in any corner of land you might catch a glimpse of.
Jacqueville proper is a small town right on the beach. It's pleasant, but overall quite basic. The stretch of coast that is lies upon is one of the nicer stretches I've seen in West Africa. It arcs gently around, with mild waves crashing away. I love how in the hot part of the afternoon, it seems that most of the town takes a mattress to go lie amongst the coconut trees next to the beach. I'm assuming they resume normal operations once the sun starts to hint at going down. Can't say that I blame them, given that 43C or so in the peak of the day is pretty nasty to doing anything.
And that's about it. A bit of coconuts, a bit of beach, some old French Colonial ruins, a pile of local kids thrilled to have their photo taken, maybe a beer, some sitting at the beach and you've seen Jacqueville. It's an interesting trip that I recommend for anyone staying in Abidjan for some time who has access to a car. For those who only want beach, Grand Bassam, to the east of Abidjan would be a tad more practical, albeit more expensive destination.
17 02 2010 0 comments
Tags: coconuts, cote d ivoire, in to africa, travel
In a state of perpetual evening
Probably one of the weirder language things I'm having trouble adjusting to are the greetings for the time of day. This may not seem like such a big deal, but people in Côte d'Ivoire are quite gregarious. Everyone greets everyone. While in the US, a nod, or depending on the setting, just eye contact can be acceptable, if you don't verbally respond back, it's considered offensive and people will repeat their greeting to you as they assume you simply didn't hear it because everyone responds. I don't really mind this and on a great many levels, it's quite enjoyable to engage with people in a country, as opposed to just being an outsider unsure of how to interact.
The one thing that gets me though is the actual greeting. In the US, traditionally we've done away with "good morning", "good afternoon", "good evening", and "good night" to use one size fits all phrases such as, "hey". The art of linguistic articulation is not one of America's finer points…
In Spanish, I've gotten used to "buenos días", "buenas tardes", and "buenas noches" as well as the respective times of day in which they're used. Croatian took a bit more getting used to with "dobro jutro" until about 10, "dobar dan" until about 18 (depending on the time of year), "dobar večer" until about 22, and "laku noć" at the very end of the night, which also works in place of "goodbye" for the evening. The times are surprisingly punctual for these different phrases and people have some kind of very accurate clock in their head to just know when to say them.
As French would have it, there is only "bonjour" and "bonsoir"; "good day" and "good evening". This probably seems simpler overall, but when one is used to having all the shades of time through the day, it seems blunt. Obviously, you get used to it, although while writing this, I said, "bonsoir" at 10:45 in the morning to a fellow who walked in the door.
In Côte d'Ivoire, probably the hardest thing is getting used to saying these at the right time. The reason that I made such a dumb gaffe with this fellow who walked in is that "bonsoir" starts at noon. Yes, the "evening" starts in the middle of the day and while people tend to get up around 6, they go to bed at 12 (don't ask me how they do it) and so, evening is making up the vast majority of their day.
I still find it weird and I doubt that I'll really quite get it at any point, although I'll just go along with it as that's the way the day goes here.
