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Damn, I'm even more Huge on Iberia
It had been awhile since any updates to the whole I'm Huge category. This was mostly due to the fact that my life in US America is built more to my large requirements. Now that I'm back in The Europe, I'm again reminded of my ogre-ocity.
Last year, I wrote up a bit about how, I'm Huge on Vueling. Well, I gotta tell you that Vueling was dreamy compared to trying to fold my 193cm of height in to the seats on the Iberia flight I took form London to Madrid. While Vueling designs their seat rows on certain flights to not accommodate those over 175cm in height, I think that Iberia must build for around 150cm. I was screwed in those seats and then of course when the turdle in front of me reclined his seat, I was just completely out of luck.
It's true it was a short flight, but it was still two hours of me doing my best impersonation of an accordion. Just another airline to cross off my me-so-lanky list...
No, I'm not exaggerating and yes, it was actually more painful than it looked for two hours.
I'm Huge in Sarajevo
I was running through my photos and updating the section here on the site (check out the Sarajevo Gallery if you haven't) and I came across this gem of my hugeness while we were running around the town.
It's true that in general, my height wasn't as much of a problem as it was elsewhere, but still, there were a number of "no Michael zones" to be found. One such one was the Svrzo House (yeah, had to start my own Wiki page for that one.) It's full of low doorways and many a Hudintrap. Obviously, it was built in a time when people were a great deal smaller. And if you look at the pictures, by great deal, I mean, midgets.
The only person who had it worse was the blind fellow who was checking out the place (they gave him special permission to touch things in the rooms) and he was also my height.
God I look awkward. About the only thing uglier than this is me trying to find clothes.
I'm Huge in Paris
Welcome to your local Ibis Hotel and more importantly, welcome to Paris, France. Your stay here will be delightful and we want to let you know that we're here to help you in any way that we can.
Take the elevator up to your room. Just remember that only two people at a time can go and without luggage or it just won't work because it exceeds the weight limit. Yes, it is supposed to hold three people, but unless you're French, you'd be best off sticking to two. With no luggage.
When you exit to your floor, you will notice that it is 5 1/2. No, this is not a mistake. We've numbered all our floors with a 1/2 because by cutting the ceilings to a mere 198cm (6'5" for those who chose "different" forms of measure), we've managed to get an extra floor in our hotel. Imagine that, an extra floor! And yes, we do pass the savings on to you. Your bargain price for one night will be 79 euros. Just don't think what that is in dollars and you'll be fine.
Once in your room (watch the low hanging lights) you'll find it to be clean. We take great pride in this. We clean everything and you'll enjoy how clean it is, especially the shower ceiling, because those 198cm become 188cm in there and we've noticed that the ceiling gets dirty at an unreasonable rate. We don't understand why, but we make sure to clean, clean, clean just so that everything is good for our guests.
But please, make yourself at home and enjoy your stay with Ibis. We are here to house you snugly!
Seriously, I am not on a ladder or stool. This was me standing on the floor normally.
I'm Huge on Vueling
Flying is never the greatest of experiences for me. Even on the best of flights, the fact that I'm 193cm tall makes just about anything short of Business and First Class a painful experience. Given that unless I'm bumped up a class as I was last year, I am always stuck in Economy Class which is the only one I can afford.
It's a pretty standard thing really. I get in to my seat and my knees are almost touching the seat in front of me. Once my frontwards friend goes in to recline, then my knees are getting crushed. It's never really comfortable, but I just deal with it, because thems the breaks.
Then I flew on Vueling which is a Spanish budget airline. I suddenly learned the price of a cheap seat. Without the frontward seat even being in recline, my knees were jammed in to the seat back that made me count the minutes until landing in Barcelona. As I looked around whilst experiencing ever painful moment we were on the flight, I realized that Spaniards are indeed much shorter than me on average and people were fitting in to these seats a whole lot better than I was. In fact, they looked quite normal, only rubbing in the fact that I'm a large man in a world much smaller than me. Of course, it doesn't help that Vueling takes an Airbus that other airlines put 26 rows in to and use the space "better" by putting in 30 making it the case that anyone over 175cm can't fit in to the seats properly. Goody...
But enough about planes, I'm off to find some table corners to bump in to!
These are not actually my knees, but this was my experience as also seen on Technorantes.
I'm Huge in Italy
Much like the Huge in Spain Part 1 and Part 2, I found myself to be gigantic in Venice. Whether it was nearly hitting my head on the top of the vaporetto or just not fitting through a door without turning sideways, for some reason I always stuck out. It's true that on average Italians are a lot smaller than me, but it seems like everything in Venice was built around the "secret door premise" meaning that nothing was ever really meant to be a main passageway somewhere and thusly, was better suited for stealthy escapades in the middle of the night.
Then, if there was construction on something, I really had to watch out because small spaces were made smaller. Anyways, the picture below shows my general need to watch it everywhere and duck regularly. I have no idea how fat and tall Americans make it through a visit to Venice without some pain.
Damn you main support beam after a bridge! And damn you tiny little door on Giudecca!
I'm Huge in Spain Part Two
In a bit of a continuation from the first article, I present a few more examples where I have the possibility of great bodily harm to myself. These examples are from old construction though, so I think they count a bit less, since people were in general much smaller in that past. They're not like the new construction where there is no reason to put a beam or anything at the 180cm mark.
But, whatever the case, as I am in Croatia now as I write this and do not hit my head anywhere, I look back fondly on these two places you can see below. Still funny how gigantic I am though.
Outside an old building on the left there and on the right, I'm in the toilet of a sweets shop.
I'm Huge in Spain Part One
"Watch your head there.", Elia said quickly as we made our way down the Metro stairs. I looked just in time to see a yellow and black striped warning tape across a low-hanging ceiling corner. Apparently if the average Spanish man was leaping down the steps, he'd hit his head on this. For me, just standard walking would have planted this right in the middle of my nose bridge. This wasn't the first time I experienced this.
In general, I'm gigantic here. There are some tall guys around, but not that many. My head is in great danger in a great many places. It's not like I'm really that massive at 193cm, but the average height of a Spanish guy is 178cm. This also plays in to the fact I have a hard time finding shoes with my big size 46 flippers.
I'm sure I'll manage, but will keep a couple of bandages handy just in case. Luckily, once in Croatia later today, while I'll miss Spain a great deal, my head will be in less danger. Most of the time anyways.
Gigantic Me in the Metro and Ogre Me in a shoe store.

