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More than just once or twice, those tricky fellows with MMTPR (the ministry of sea, tourism, transport, and development) have gotten me good. They'll put up a sign somewhere and you'll think, "Why yes, yes, yes, it appears that I need to turn right where this signs says to turn right." Ah, but no. The actual turn may be hundreds of meters ahead and there will be several other turns before it that all seem like potential candidates. Taking one of these, you pump your fist to the heavens and shout, "Curses MMTPR, you have won again!!!"       In time you learn to question the innate sense of turning where a sign says to turn, but then sometimes it happens that those are the correct turns. So, in reality, you can't win and you have to somewhat go with traffic or just get used to double backing. The locals have no issue with this because naturally, they know where everything is in these areas. It's just the tourists who get jammed up and well, I can't blame them for not caring about this, since I wouldn't either.       The one issue where this is a bigger problem is in Pula. When you come off the main road, it's about two kilometers in to the center. It took me an hour to travel this road, so yes, I really could have walked it faster. Was there an accident or the four horsemen of the apocalypse in the center with everyone needing a picture of War (since we all know that War is so much cooler than Antichrist, Injustice and Death)? No, nothing nearly so fantastic. The problem stems from a road sign that is improperly placed. You see, there is a sign that points to the left for the center at an intersection. Except, that this isn't the center, it's a supermarket. So, those unfamiliar with the area turn in there, then immediately realize their mistake and try to turn back out, creating massive congestion at this intersection as they try to continue on to the center. About 200 meters further is the actual turn and it's all gummed up there because of this. I almost fell for it myself, but quickly realized what was happening and got out of it.       This is one incident where the signs affect the locals by screwing up their roads. Of course, once again, they probably know ways around this, since I'm guessing it's been like this for years and based on other spots I've seen like this, it will remain the same for some time to come.

Compared to what generally happens along the coast and especially in Umag, the tourism in Grožnjan seems like it is from another world. We visited this small, Istrian village on a hill several times because it's a wonderful spot that is inviting, warm, and charming. It is all that the coast is not. Sure, you can't tan there, but it's only 15km from the coast, so if that's what you want, go there for the day.       What makes Grožnjan work is most likely the fact that they haven't had tourism explode and that it has grown over time, making the people think about how to make it work and most importantly, how to maintain people visiting them. The town can be packed with people, like we saw in the recent Jazz festival that happens there yearly, but you don't feel it. I don't know how they do it, because the town is tiny with maybe 1,000 people in it at most. The parking lot (which is astoundingly fre to park in) can accommodate a great number of cars, yet you'll still find yourself strolling the streets in relative serenity compared to the cattle crush of Dubrovnik in high season.       But, they aren't just saying, "Here's our town. Come. Buy. Uh... something or just give us money for... something." No, they have cute shops with local art and culinary delicacies that ply to tourists, but at the same time create an economy that isn't based upon renting rooms and waiting tables. If some of these products are good enough, they could even, [gasp!] export them in the off season when tourists aren't there. Yes, that's right, it's a sustainable system that produces products for sale and consumption. It's an incredibly basic concept that has long been ignored on the coast.       I think the most amazing fact is that while I'm sure the tourism ministry of Croatia gives them some money, I credit the people of Grožnjan for creating all of this because they certainly don't get a lot of press to do it. The powers that be seem more interested in promoting places like Hum, and Buzet. Both of these towns are nowhere near as nice as Grožnjan.       I wonder if they people who live in Grožnjan are a bit happy to keep things the way that they are, since it appears that they are all making a decent living there and were pretty happy. There weren't the bitter shopkeepers who would rather spit in your face than sell you a half liter of milk, as we experienced in Savudrija.

As you're coming from the north of Europe in to Istria, you'll see a big pile of cars turn off towards Umag in Croatia. They head there for beach, sun, and sitting around. They are the type of tourists who have been coming to this area for the last 50 years or so and for some reason, the Croatian government finds themselves in a need to promote for more of these people to come during the summer holidays. So, there will be more of them in years to come no doubt.       The end result is that a place like Umag (Umago in Italian) is a pretty revolting place. It's a tiny town that is overrun with people who do nothing but tan and come in search of a cheap destination, which actually isn't there anymore because of an over-development of tourism. It's a smaller version of how I felt that Rovinj has been abused.       But, this is the case in a great number of the Croatian coastal towns, especially those in Istria because they are so close to the borders of the EU. So, it really comes as no surprise that things are like this. The surprise is that Croatia at large seems to want more of this. I know from personal contact with the people living in these towns that they hate this time of year, yet they all seem to go along with renting rooms and taking part in making tourism happen there. When asked why they do this when they don't want these people there, they will usually tell me that they have no choice and they have to take the money because it's all they get. I find this to be lazy, specious reasoning because in reality, yes, the tourists are incredibly trashy and annoying, but at the same time, they are easy cows for the milking, so people go along with it.       The sad truth in this is that the people on the coast are not developing a tourism industry that is sustainable there. It is a boom from June to August and that's it. As a cousin of mine in Zagreb pointed out, "The sea is nice when it's not hot also. It's good air and relaxing." And he's right. People come year round to places in Italy and Spain that are along the coast because they have developed and industry of travel. By doing what the coastal Croats are doing, they are sticking themselves in an ugly pool of very brown Germans and British that they have to cater to. They don't allow for any other kind of industry to build up and they fail to create a travel (as opposed to touristic) industry in the area where the are.       Anyways, Umag is just a small example of a greater problem and one that the Croats will need to deal with soon on a local level, because those at the national level are just seeing all the tax moneys roll in and don't care what happens there.              I apologize for not having the standard picture to accompany the article, but I was so revolted by Umag that I stayed there all of 20 minutes before I had to leave and the scene was so ugly, I wanted no memory of it.

Undoubtedly, when you take size in to account with amount of appeal, Rovinj is one of, if not the loveliest towns in Istria. I first visited it in 2005 and loved it. It has a charming allure to it that hasn't been spoiled by being too developed or overblown with touristic apartments. Admittedly, I was there at the end of May and it was something of a quiet time for the city. Sure, there tourists, but not scores of them and it was pleasant to stay there and chill out. The Hotel Rovinj, where we stayed, wasn't glamorous, but it worked and had a great view.       Now, I return two years later at the peak of tourist season in August and well, I wish I had never scene the town like this. The piles of trash beach tourists are too numerous to count. There is crap like guys on sound systems getting people to toss basketballs. There are fat, old tan men walking around with their shirts open. There are guys in speedos with bellies. Woman in their 50's walk around looking like leather in their bikinis they are far too old to wear. And most importantly, everyone just strolls around like cattle. The vast majority of them buy nothing. They shop for food outside the town at large supermarkets that are cheap, then they just use the town like a museum, walking around without buying anything.       Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that there is a Jägermeister DJ stage set up and anyone who knows about Jägermeister knows that wherever it goes, unter-classy, out of control drunkenness follows. I think this was the final straw that, after a 20 minute walk through the old town, I had to leave.       It's just sad to see because it's such a nice town and these idiots that go there in search of beach have no place there. There is one spot to swim in the old town proper and that's a set of rocks that jut out from the Hotel Rovinj. That is not a beach. People who want beach should not go there. They should stay away. British in search of their panacea "sandy beaches" should never go there. But for some reason all these people are here. I don't get it. But I do understand this crowd and the fact that they're going to probably just get bigger with time and that I can never, ever, under any circumstances go to Rovinj from June to August. Doing so will just make me sad...

Okay, for those who took me seriously with my article yesterday about Istria joining the EU, let emphasize that that was satire. Crossing the border between these two countries is still annoying and just like everyone had told me, a very long line that backs up for kilometer upon kilometer which you have no choice but to wait for.       The one thing that was true about the previous article is that the technicalities of the border are quite simple. You just flash a couple passports that they don't even look at and that's it; you're in to one country or the other. I found it all quite strange given that the crossing between northern Croatia and Slovenia is much more involved. Therein lies the reason for the article yesterday because it was just weird. But, there is a good reason for it: Croatia done wants them beach tourists.       In the middle of the peak season, it's definitely a pain to get down there. Loads of campers and RV's are trundling their way down the coast in search of a cheap spot to set up and stay for a week or two. Why Croatia wants these tourists so badly has been beyond me for this whole trip other than to say that they want to the easy, quick money that they bring. Naturally, there isn't much money if they aren't staying in a proper hotel or pension, preferring to bring their beat up camper trailer from circa 1974 to sleep in and they buy the cheapest food from the cheapest supermarkets. But, such are the choices of the current Croatian authorities.       So, some tips to avoid the lines:       - Don't cross on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday       - Try to cross in the early morning or better yet, the late night.       - Don't cross on a Monday when Croats may be coming back in after a weekend in Italy or elsewhere and subject to search because they're the only people crossing who have import restrictions.       - Don't drink a lot of liquids before going, because the worst times take an hour or two to go just a few kilometers and while there are plenty of trees, there are no toilets.       - I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you have a motorcycle, use it. I saw these guys blast around me all the time just because they could. And if one or two people aren't in car, it makes the line all that much smaller for the rest of us.       - Find the back roads. The new, main auto cesta is always backed up. The old road may have more curves, but definitely less people at peak times.       - Lastly, make sure you car is tuned up and not going to overheat, because I saw many a weaker car sitting by the side of the road with a bunch of sad faces in the back seat.

It's amazing what sometimes slips past the major news; not only in the US, but also in Europe. It appears that earlier this year, on March 31, at 15:00 PST, Istria joined the European Union. This may not seem like a big deal to many people out there, but in actuality it is for several reasons. For one thing, these announcements are usually quite big and happen at the beginning of the year as was the case in Bulgaria and Romania this year. But it seems that they just sort of slipped this one through for some reason that was as unknown to me as to why they joined only the very western portion of Croatia and not the rest. As far as I had heard, the country was slated to join in 2009, but it appears that wonders will never cease.       There has been precedence for this in the case where only Greek Cyprus joined the EU and not Turkish Cyprus. Even still, I was amazed by this until I talked to some of the locals here who told me that due to the fact that so many people in the area already had Italian and Slovenian citizenship, it just seemed natural to pull the area in to the union and make things simpler. Also, because the region is full of Italians, Germans, Austrians, Slovenes, Czechs, and Dutch who are all part of the union, they felt that it would be in everyone's best interest to extend the EU to cover this area so that those on holiday would still maintain all the protections they enjoyed back home.       This really didn't seem like that sound of a logic to me as it would be like joining California with Canada. I refused to believe it until I went back in to Croatia and found that the border crossing was just like coming in to Croatia. No stamps. No hassle. It was like passing from Italy to France. The only people who were getting bothered were those with Croatian plates, since this new membership for Istria has given it something of a weird border status, seeing as how it is still part of Croatia, but now part of a greater Europe. Thusly, anyone Croatian was suspect for bringing in European goods above the allowable limit and unless they were Istrian, were immediately suspect, just like old times.       All in all, I am very intrigued by all of this and wonder what is going to happen and if this means that EU membership for Croatia is going to be accelerated? More information to follow, I'm sure.

Never under any circumstances should Međimurje in the far north of Croatia be confused with Međugorje in the far south of Bosnia Herzegovina. One is religious tourist hell, the other is a refuge from all the business of modern life going the wrong direction. Naturally, it's Međimurje that I find to be bliss.       It's an area of Croatia that is the same landscape as that of Slovenia to the west. It sits in a nice little wedge right at the borders of Hungary and Slovenia and for some reason, there is always something cool about border area people. The borders they currently enjoy were never really all that static until the 20th century, so they are people that are from previous generations of those who really learned how to go with the flow and be okay with whomever's flag was flying on whatever day.       Then there is the land. There are these lumping, rolling hills that are impeccable and perfect with their long farms running along them in varying rows. There is no trash on the road, dead cars on the lawn, or unkempt areas. The people take care of this land and because there have been very few immigrations to the area, these are the same people that have been doing it for centuries. Each till in the earth has probably been done a thousand times before.       Lastly, there is naturally, the wine. While they next to no reds in the area, they do make quite good whites. There is in fact the Horvat-Hudin winery up there. The grandfather of the family had no sons, thus the gradual name change. My relation to this people goes back at least seven or eight generations and is difficult to find because of that, but we visited them when we were there and they are lovely people.       Admittedly, there is little to do in the Međimurje, which is why I like it so much. It's a great place to unplug, unwind, and just relax. This and some local hot springs are the reason that a good number of spas have started opening up there as well. So, it will be interesting to so how the area progresses over the next few years. Given that Croatia seems hellbent on only putting tourism money in to the coast; I think it will stay quite relaxed for some time to come.

It was weird going from the coast of Croatia to the inland areas and specifically to Varaždin. You see, on the coast, there are countless moped morons buzzing around all the time. In Varaždin, there are no mopeds. You might see the occasional Austrian on a motorcycle, but that's about it. Varaždin is a city of bicycles.       Everyone rides them, from old men to old women, to mothers with kids, to dads going to work, to farmers running in to town for whatever farmers run in to town for. Even the princesses with their glittery gold purses and shoes ride bikes in to town while sms-ing on their mobiles. As we sat in a square in the old town, it was just one after another that rode by in front of us. All of them blissfully sans screaming little motor.       It's a rather good place to ride a bike as the weather as pretty pleasant year round and the terrain is quite flat. Beyond this, I think it's the only city in Croatia where bike lanes have thoughtfully been provided for. In fact, outside of town, there are lanes all the way to the next biggest town of Čakovec and yes, people use them.       If you can't tell by my tone, I was astounded at all of this. Of course, coastal Croats will point at the continental ones and say, "Yeah, they're just different like that." But what those on the coast don't realize is that they're just smarter like that. You can call it Germanification if you want, but I just call it peaceful. For those who know California, think of it as the city of Davis with 15th century (or maybe older?) city center.

The island of Vis has to be one of the strangest places to visit in Croatia. For one thing, it's the most remote, of the large islands on the Croatian coast. Actually, it wouldn't be that remote if Jadrolinija cared to run boats from Hvar to Vis on a regular basis, but they don't, so Vis is left adrift out there, about a 2.5 hour (one way) ferry ride from Split.       Beyond this, Vis is like another world. You don't feel this when you come in to Vis town on the eastern end of the island. It has all the trappings of a typical touristic port, but as soon as you get 10 meters from the water, you feel something strange about it. Unlike Dubrovnik which also sits on the water, but has a real city behind it, Vis town is this skinny little ring of buildings around the bay where it sits. And once you get two minutes away from this town, all hints of civilization drop off.       Then there is Komiža on the other end of the island. This feels like a proper town and there is something about it that I quite like. I assume that this must have been from the fishing industry that flourished quite well there and people were allowed to have reasonable lives and build the cute stone houses that Croatia has gotten so known for.       But, beyond these two towns, the island is something of a wasteland. That's too strong a word really, but it is incredibly empty. Finding people is a challenge. This may appeal to a great many tourists in the future, though, because you can literally just sit in the middle of the main, old interior road and not see a car for 20 or 30 minutes, and this was in the high season for the island.       There is a reason for all of this beyond geographical and that's the fact that Vis was a strategic military base during Yugoslavia. If they would have been able to kick all the people off without a problem, they probably would, because unless you were a de facto resident, you could not visit the island. This ban was in effect until just 10 years ago and it's probably the main source for Vis being so empty. Had it not been for this, I'm sure more of a tourist industry would have been built up and the place would look more like Hvar. But then again, maybe not. I will go out on a limb and guess that the future will be interesting for Vis, because it is very undeveloped and people love to develop.

While staying in Trogir, we rented a car to drive around and see various wineries as well as some sites along the way. On any map there are three different ways to go north to Šibenik from the Split/Trogir area. There is the coastal road which is the equivalent of the Pacific Coast Highway in California in that it is beautiful, but painfully slow. Then there is what people call the Old Road. And then there is the New Road or the Auto Cesta that was built basically to handle the waves of tourists that beach themselves in Croatia for the summer. We are probably one of the few groups of people who are visiting the country that have taken all three.       Like I just said, the coastal road, or perhaps the Old Old Road is impractical. Once you've been on it, that's probably the last time you need to see it. But the Old Road that runs inland is quite fast when going up to Šibenik. Sure, there is the initial winding part as you ascend up from Trogir, but after that, it's pretty straight and fast. It also happens to be rather devoid of cars because everyone is taking the New Road.       So, what about the New Road? It also happens to be quite good. It's really, really straight and very flat with two lanes in each direction (the Old Road only has one each way), but there is a toll. Now, the toll is not that expensive (although I bet the Germans still complain) and I am rather in favor of tolls, because in theory, they tax those who use the roads. In this case, tourists pay for a road that was initially built out of the pockets of the citizens in the country. So, this is good. But, overall, I have to say that I prefer the Old Road.       All the locals in the area swear by the Auto Cesta. I think this is in a large part to the fact they do anywhere from 140-180 kph on the damned thing. Here I was, stuck in a Toyota Aygo that I really had to whip hard to stay at 130kph, but usually was cruising in the 110 range or about 65 miles an hour. That's okay, considering that little bump of a car got a whopping 70 miles to the gallon! With all of this taken in to account, the Old Road was actually faster for us. You see, it's less distance than the Auto Cesta when taking this leg of it, which, when you're putting along, works out much more in your favor.       Then of course there is always the new factor that needs to be taken in to account. The Croats are mighty proud of this Auto Cesta (A1) and they should be, since it was constructed in a matter of just a few years. But, people seem to get blinded by the newness of things around here and while they are agape at having it, they're ignoring practicalities like the fact that if it is 20km longer to take this New Road than the Old Road, then the New Road maybe isn't the best choice. But, I had to be secure in my knowledge and manhood as guys in 15-year-old Yugos and Volkswagons were somehow able to fly by me like I was standing still. I can never figure out how they do that...