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If you're driving to work in San Francisco and you're stuck on one of the many highways around the area, you might often yell, "This traffic is insane!" I would counter with the fact that no, it's quite normal, orderly, and even predictable. I will take the traffic of the US or anywhere in Europe, any day, over what I saw in Kinshasa.       The problem of course revolves around the fact that somehow, despite all the poverty, there are what seem to be millions of cars in the city that are hell-bent on moving around the 10 million inhabitants on a daily basis. The great majority of these cars are not in good shape, so they pollute like it's going out of style. They also break down quite often and are either repaired in the middle of the road or abandoned, which is done in the middle of the road as well.       It's a mess that starts around eight in the morning, gets steadily worse until gridlock sets in, in the middle of the day, and then things smooth out a bit near the end of the day, when it gets dark around six. A lot of these cars are missing headlights, so it's difficult for them to drive after dark. If it rains, the roads are abandoned because probably 90% of the cars simply can't drive when there is a downpour.       But it's how people drive that make the traffic what it is. If you ever get mad at some random jerk who cuts you off on I-880, you shouldn't drive in Kinshasa. That is how people always drive. They just kind of slam their way through all the cars to get where they're going. It's a bit like American individualism on crack. There are surprisingly few accidents though, which I attribute more to the fact you can't drive faster than 60kph anywhere, so it lessens the impacts. I did see one though and it was nasty with both cars folded up in what looked like a direct head-on collision.       There are many mundele who drive though and as amazingly as it is, I drove in all of this as well. It was quite an experience, but because everyone is doing it, it makes driving somewhat easy. I mean this only in the sense that you can kind of handle it if you start driving like the Congolese. Trying to be proper and allowing people to merge or obeying the right of way at four way stops will get you nowhere. No one has gone to driving school, although there is one in the city. Most folks either hop in a car and start driving or pay the $50 to pick up a driver's license. That's all there is to it. You pay the money and you can legally drive. No test. No other rules. I almost bought one as a souvenir, but didn't have the time, nor the inclination to go down and deal with it. It's a cool license though, because where in the US you need a different license to drive different classes of vehicles, the Congolese have streamlined the process and have this license allowing you to drive anything from a motorcycle, to a big rig truck, to a steamroller.       Overall, I'd have to say that I wish to never drive in Kinshasa again. One experience was definitely enough and it can be summed up by the fact that when we were stuck in some detour that was causing a massive juggernaut, I was passed by a guy going 30kph (20mph in metric-so-scary-land), on my left, in reverse. If that doesn't blow your mind, then you should consider a future career as a taxi driver in the center of Kinshasa. They can always use a few more.

On Thursday, we were getting a lift down the peninsula, when we came across massive traffic on 280 South. While traffic is endemic to life in the Bay Area, it is not a common sight on 280. As we crawled on, we came across the scene of an accident. There was only one car that seemed to have just slowed to a stop on the right hand shoulder. We shrugged it off as a hit and run or a drunk driver or any of the other things that happen on the road, which make it unsafe as hell (a mere 42,642 deaths unsafe in 2006.) The only thing really weird about the accident was that there was about 10 CHP cars there, which is highly extraordinary for any incident with one car.       Getting back home, I was glancing over the news and came across this story wherein a man was shot and killed by another motorist in an apparent bout of road rage and I realized that was the scene we had passed. All those who knew the victim say that he was a calm guy and given the fact he didn't open fire on the other car would seem to support this. He was just a normal guy with his two sons in the car, coming home from a long day at work and was shot by three idiots who will hopefully be found. This has to be one of the saddest things I've read in quite a while.       These types of incidents are on the rise here in the US with three roadway shootings this month alone. What's the cause? I think most all of us would agree that it's guns. Guns, guns, everywhere without the common sense to think.       Is there a solution? Besides getting rid of guns (which never seems to be an option for some reason), the only one I can think of is to ride public transportation. I'm sure that this will whip of some hysteria (which I'll thankfully not be around for, as of Tuesday) and those with SUVs will feel safer for some reason, although they aren't. Nuts are everywhere and while you may not like that homeless guy staring at you on the Bart your whole ride, I'll trade that any day for a group of three thugs in a car raining bullets down on me for cutting them off.

I present you a riddle. The top picture in the montage below is:       - A local fisherman taking a midnight cruise throw eel infested waters       - A duck       - A couple of goofballs in their rented Mustang convertible.       Obviously, the correct choice is number two.       It says right at the start of the car rental section in the tour guide that we got that, "While that convertible Mustang may seem really tempting at the rental office, they are a sure sign of a tourist and will undoubtedly be broken in to while parked."       I see why they too the time to mention that. For some reason, I am seeing one after another of these damned things and yes, if I wanted to steal stuff from tourists, I would head straight for these vehicles. "Oooh, the top is up, can't steal nuthin' there. Oh wait, here's my knife."       The most popular color by far and away is red. It's like they've tagged and released you as a tourist in to the wild if you rent one of these things. I mean really, people are free to rent whatever they want, but I just found it really funny. Be free my little tourist, be free!       For our wheels, we picked up some kind of Chevy thing that's pretty weak and feels like someone tried to go offroading with it at some point, but it gets us around, has no pop-top for easy access to our belongings, and most importantly, is pretty cheap, although the gas mileage is typical of any tin box made by GM. By this, I mean that what I'm saving in the cost of the rental is being eaten up a the pump with the nearly $4 a gallon cost for gas here.

A friend of mine is out of town for a week and during this time, I've managed to get her car so that I can practice every single move from Bullitt within the boundaries of what a Ford Focus will allow. You know what I'm talking about, right? I believe that a good deal of this is Focus-able. You only do these things with friends cars when they're away so that they can only read about on your blog and then shake their heads in disbelief and be thankful they have a low insurance deductible. Ha, ha...       Anyways, I don't really plan on doing all that much driving, other than seeing how fast I can go down the Filbert Steps or up Lombard Street backwards. So, during the time I'm not being a menace, I have to deal with parking. This is crappy thing to deal with in San Francisco and just in time to make me worry was an article from about a woman's parking woes. It really makes you shake your head, but it also teaches an important lesson in that vigilante justice is the only justice that properly works. That and the justice of Chuck Norris.       Have a happy Christmas!       

I was forwarded this article about a guy trying to use a gun on a tire.       I suppose when you get down to it, the honor of a Darwin Award is really earned by the recipient of one. I mean, what is the pattern of synapses firing in a decision like this? "Hmm, tire is stuck. Gun unstucks things with bullet things. Use gun on tire to unstuck it? Yes, unstuck tire means getting to home, to watch game and each pork rinds more. But wait, pork rinds already in car with stuck tire. Stay here with stuck tire and eat pork rinds? Stupid logic brain, no game in car! Oh yeah, sorry gun brain, forgot about that. Shoot stupid tire!"       And thus you end up with a man in Washington State injured in both legs for shooting a tire with a 12 gauge shotgun. Really makes a solid case for that whole 2nd Amendment thing.

Yesterday, I had the enjoyment of "scaling" Bernal Heights for the first time in the nearly ten years that I've lived in the Bay Area. Yeah, truly pathetic. But, at least I finally made it out there and in the process realized that I had missed out on one of the most spectacular views in the city. Now I understand why all these families have move there and caused the rechristening of "Maternal Heights". It is a place that you really can raise kids and have a dog and hurtle yourself down the hill on a winding road in a shaky car you built yourself.       Yes, yesterday was the Illegal Soap Box Derby for 2007 in San Francisco. I would gladly link to a site for it, but apparently it is so illegal and so underground that they don't even have a website. In San Francisco, this is unheard of. Or maybe it's just that no one really got around to it as they were busy putting the finishing touches on their rabbit head or beer bottle holder for the car.       Ultimately, the event is just a screwy thing. From what I saw, there was no prize other than bragging rights and showing up with a cool soapbox. While the shark car and aforementioned rabbit suit were cool, there were no cubicles setting off down the hill.       As to why it's illegal is the fact that (I think) it's because you're not allowed to race in the street or block off a street without a permit. Also, the drinking and driving isn't looked upon too fondly either. But given that no cops showed up and the "street" is really this windy bit of asphalt that dead ends at the top of the peak, it made me wonder how illegal it was. Regardless, it made for some good shots and a great walk over Bernal.

It may come as a shock to readers, based on several articles about driving in Croatia, but I have done a good deal of driving in Croatia lately. Naturally due to the fact I really don't like driving I don't really like this activity, but it was necessary to visit wineries and sites that needed drinking and seeing.       But, in driving around a heavily trafficked area in the height of holiday season, I have come to find groups (based on their license plates) who are slower drivers and more frustrating than others. Obviously this is not to say that all people from these groups are hell, just a great many of them. So here with go with the list:              The Dutch       Sweet lord they drive slow. They also love to drive in groups making it impossible to pass them. And then, toss in the fact that they always have caravans attached to their cars and it's all quite a package. On this trip, I was alerted to the fact by more than one person that the Dutch are the cheapest of the cheap in Europe, so it's no wonder that the caravans dominate the roads, since they allow heavy money saving in resort locations.              The Hungarians       I've liked every Hungarian that I've met. So, it came as something of a shock to see them putting along like they do. For awhile I actually thought they were the slowest drivers, until of course I was confronted by the aforementioned Dutch. Still though, they really don't go fast out there on the open roads and I feel like such a crazy American when I pass them doing the speed limit.              The Germans       This was the real shocker. I've known Germans who tear up the road. They drive ferociously fast in both Germany and from what I've seen, in the US. Amazingly, in Croatia, they just crawl along. While definitely not the slowest, they are among some of the slowest that I've seen. I think it must have to do with being worried about the police harassing them because they're German, but given their general attitudes in the towns where I've seen them staying, I refuse to believe that they'd be that cautious.

I love the A1 road coming from Zagreb out to the coast. That thing is amazing and I took the old road the last year that people had to take the old road, so I do indeed know the difference. Being able to cruise at whatever your car will allow, whether that's 120km (like my effin' Toyota Aygo) or 200km if you happen to have a Porsche and feel like getting friendly with the Croatian police, is some good driving.       There is another artery which is in Istria, called the A8/A9 or, the Istrian Y. The A8 stretch is rather good, despite the fact it is only four lanes intermittently. The A9 is another story. It has maybe 5km or four lanes throughout the whole thing, so passing on it is a nightmare. For most of the trip you're stuck behind old, Dutch or German caravans that put along at 80km. It makes what should be a half hour trip something more like an hour from the border to Pula.       This is an element that I can deal with, since I was driving during high season. It's the fact that the authorities in the area have the balls to actually charge for this that hurts my common sense. There is one toll booth in the middle of it that costs about $3 each way. It doesn't seem like much, but when you're making multiple trips, it adds up. Also, there is the fact that you're taking what feels like a relatively straight country road and being charged for this. The Bay Bridge in San Francisco costs $4 one way and that's a bridge! There was no simple bulldozing to make that happen. They had to span some serious stuff to get that bridge in there and it cost billions to build.       I don't know what's up with the Croatian motorway, but for those set to take it, I think that at certain points the old back roads are faster because you can avoid the caravans. Anyone moving slow on those old roads can be blown by quickly because they're just chasing butterflies.

More than just once or twice, those tricky fellows with MMTPR (the ministry of sea, tourism, transport, and development) have gotten me good. They'll put up a sign somewhere and you'll think, "Why yes, yes, yes, it appears that I need to turn right where this signs says to turn right." Ah, but no. The actual turn may be hundreds of meters ahead and there will be several other turns before it that all seem like potential candidates. Taking one of these, you pump your fist to the heavens and shout, "Curses MMTPR, you have won again!!!"       In time you learn to question the innate sense of turning where a sign says to turn, but then sometimes it happens that those are the correct turns. So, in reality, you can't win and you have to somewhat go with traffic or just get used to double backing. The locals have no issue with this because naturally, they know where everything is in these areas. It's just the tourists who get jammed up and well, I can't blame them for not caring about this, since I wouldn't either.       The one issue where this is a bigger problem is in Pula. When you come off the main road, it's about two kilometers in to the center. It took me an hour to travel this road, so yes, I really could have walked it faster. Was there an accident or the four horsemen of the apocalypse in the center with everyone needing a picture of War (since we all know that War is so much cooler than Antichrist, Injustice and Death)? No, nothing nearly so fantastic. The problem stems from a road sign that is improperly placed. You see, there is a sign that points to the left for the center at an intersection. Except, that this isn't the center, it's a supermarket. So, those unfamiliar with the area turn in there, then immediately realize their mistake and try to turn back out, creating massive congestion at this intersection as they try to continue on to the center. About 200 meters further is the actual turn and it's all gummed up there because of this. I almost fell for it myself, but quickly realized what was happening and got out of it.       This is one incident where the signs affect the locals by screwing up their roads. Of course, once again, they probably know ways around this, since I'm guessing it's been like this for years and based on other spots I've seen like this, it will remain the same for some time to come.

They really do love it. It's not like I really do anything to make my ass more appealing to the average Balkan driver, but for some reason, it is a like a flame and they are the moths. I say this because whenever I am driving anywhere in a Balkan country, there is some moron sitting right there on the ass of my car, ready to overtake me at any moment. But while he can't, he just sits there, ready to read-end me until he can.       I'm no F1 racer, but I'd rather not spend my time in a car. I don't like that anymore than anyone else, and I'm usually doing a good number of kilometers above the speed limit anywhere that I am. Despite this, I apparently never drive fast enough, or there is the premise that because someone is in front of you, that they must be passed.       It is true that crappy drivers are everywhere, but it's the mentality of these crappy drivers that gives me pause. You see, 9 times out of 10, once they pass me, they pull in to a driveway or a shop maybe 200 meters later. It's this whole, "In a hurry to go nowhere" thing that blows my mind. These guys will risk being a new layer of paint on a bus coming the opposite way just so that they get somewhere 0.5 seconds earlier.       At times, when I am "ambling" along, I muse about what they must be thinking about. Something along the lines of, "Oh crap, why won't this guy go faster?!! I'm only five minutes early to get to the cafe to sit for the rest of the day! Crap, move! I have my cigarettes out and everything! My kuna/euro/dinar/km is ready for spending! Move! That's it. You are being overtaken. Yes, I'm doing it. Oh, this feels so good. The wind in my hair as I go 5kph faster than you. Okay, now I'm pulling in to the cafe. If only you were further behind me, so that I could be sitting down, smoking to watch you go by, instead of just turning off the car."       Or something to that effect. And I don't want to hear the excuse that people are used to driving like that in the Balkans, so they can handle it. I've seen all the little shrines along the road where someone became a memorial. Slow the crap down. There is one thing America has right when it comes to driving and that's the two seconds distance from the guy in front of you.