Stupid French

Obviously, starting out with a quote from much loved Allo ‘Allo! is a daunting introduction, but really it’s true, on many levels the French are just dumb.

I suppose that the biggest annoyance with them comes in the form of tourists that are wandering around the rest of Europe. Getting stuck behind a slow moving Frenchman on roads in the north of Spain served as an annoying introduction to the world of the frog that I was going to soon encounter once finally getting to France proper.

Of course then there is the caveman mentality when it comes to the cellphone. They shout at them. They scream in to them. They play with the ringtones repeatedly. They’re like these children when it comes to this technology. I remember one guy sitting next to me at the Arc de Triomphe when I first visited in 2003, playing that stock Nokia ringtone over and over, giggling like a little school boy each time.

Then let’s talk about the Métro. How is it that there are no escalators in the stations? Even at the train station, there are no escalators and one would not have to be so bold as to surmise that people will be carrying a lot of crap when making any journey there. It’s not just that there are no escalators, but also that the stairs will go up to go back down. You usually only see this kind of brilliant engineering in stations like Passeig de Gracia in Barcelona, but I’m beginning to think the Spaniards learned how to make these stair cases from the French. Would it kill anyone to have a ramp? Even a steep ramp. I’m not picky, just let my suitcase roll.

I could go on a bit more, but I’d start breaking down and using stereotypes as opposed to personal experiences to illustrate my point. At least for the last year, one of our dumbest things ever in the US has passed and we’ve put French back on the menu. Although, this does not make the French any smarter. It shows how much dumber the US is.