Lines, lines everywhere and not a script to film

me

There are times, whether they be sitting on the toilet, sitting on the couch staring at the lights come on in the market, or just generally sitting that I have flights of fancy that involve getting in to acting. Well, more to the point, writing screenplays that would then allow me to land acting gigs. As seen in the above photo, I think the villain roles of the cinematic world are vastly undeserved by my not being cast in them.

But, it was probably while at the family farm recently and having to pick fleas off the balls of the family dachshund that I came up with one of my better lines to date, although naturally, I have no screenplay to put it in or film to be produced from it. Regardless, I place it here for posterity.

I’m going to kick those two raisins you call balls so far up in to your ass that you’ll be shitting Sherry for a month.

It helps add some depth to it if you know how wine is produced but still, and… scene.