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Many dog owners know that the trials in bathing their animal and when one owns a dachshund, these problems are compounded by the silly and often eccentric attitude of this breed.       I was privy to the washing of a dachshund and for those who find the washing process difficult with these guys, I offer the photo montage below for guidance as well as some key points:              1. Cage the dachshund. The animal is smart and tricky. It knows a bath is imminent. Do not let it escape.              2. Place the dachshund. Make sure the water is warm or the dachshund will whine and make you feel bad. But whatever you do, do not feel bad. The dachshund requires bathing and you must force it to accept this.              3. Wash the dachshund. Ignore the eyes. The eyes will betray pain that is not there. If you look at the eyes, you will stop, but do not, for the dachshund is crafty and just trying to get you end your bathing torture.              4. Rinse the dachshund. The animal should be complacent by now, knowing that the end is near. You can use two hands for the rinsing process to get this over with as fast as possible.              5. Dry the dachshund. While not cold blooded by nature, the dachshund is convinced that it is part reptile and will require thorough drying less the dachshund will lead itself to believe it has hypothermia.              Once the shock clears in 3-5 minutes your dachshund will be back up to full weirdo again, sans super stinky dachshund funk. Always, have no fear, obey the dachshund.