An iPhone does not Cool Maketh Thee

You remember how some time back, I wrote about the iPhone 2.0 launch? Well, take a look at the guy in that photo. Take a real good look. Now look at the photo below. In case, you're wondering, yes, that's the same guy who was the first person in SF to get the new iPhone who was eating by himself at the release of Lawrence Lessig's new book. I bring this up not to pick on someone's being a dork as I was the dorkiest of dorks in high school, but more to point out that just having the newest Apple gadget will not make people like you. And if you show up to an event insisting on wearing the headphones of said gadget throughout the event just to show that you have the new said gadget, you will be disliked even more. These are sad facts, but the sooner you learn them, the sooner we can all live on a happier planet.

Happy Halloween. I'll be hiding indoors with a bottle of scotch and a plaid smoking jacket if you need me. And again, just for reference, don't go as Sarah Palin!

30 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: apple, mobiles, san francisco, technology

Navel Gazing: The Price of Free Food and Drink

Last night I went to the release party of Remix by Lawrence Lessig. For those not in the know, he's a guy who's written a lot of books and various academic dribbling about the internet, digital culture, and the like. But, he's an academic, so I think extremely little of what he has to say. Instead, I was there to freeload on the free food and booze.

This party was put on by Stanfurd's Law School. To be honest, I could generally give a rat's ass about all of this, except that I went to another book release at Hotel Vitale with a massive spread that the freeloader in me was very impressed with. Given that foreknowledge, I felt that another party from the same type of people for an even bigger name would be an even bigger to-do. I wasn't let down. They poured out great wine, beer, and mixed drinks along with an endless supply of tasty food and an excellent DJ. Sure, we had to watch a painful video that kissed Lessig's ass to no end and then we had to listen to him read a chunk of the book as opposed to offering analysis (this ain't a book of poetry Lawrence), but we got to stuff our faces when we weren't being annoyed by the presentation. Overall, I'd say that the whole gig was around $10,000 and probably much, much more.

This is the part where I have to say, "This is gross." $10,000 or $20,000 or whatever it was to promote a guy's book solely because they have the money and they want to make sure that any other books get drowned out by doing this. I mean, if the book was really that great, this kind of party would be unnecessary. A small conference at a bookstore like the almighty Stacey's would be more than enough and draw all the people who were actually interested in the book itself instead of a bunch of freeloaders like me and my friends.

And this is my new mission in San Francisco. I am going to descend on every ridiculous event like this with a load of Spaniards-in-training and actual Spaniards in order to drink all the drinks, eat all the food, take all the freebies, and then not buy a book or whatever they're selling. I want this crap to end. I want the money spent on these parties to go to something else. Just about anything else would be better than aimless, wasteful promotions. But hey, while these things keep going on, I'm all over them and if they end, I'll be thrilled to see some monetary excess channeled away from academia.

29 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: better buying, books, hubris, san francisco

Understandering Democratic Republic of the Congo

DR Congo is in the news a lot lately. Rebel General Laurent Nkunda has been firing up the warfare again in the eastern part of the country, a bit to the north of where I visited a few months ago. This history behind all of this is complex. I thinks it's about as complex as the Yugoslavian wars, except with a helluva lot more acronyms and long names to remember. So, it's probably worth clearing up a few things. First, if you hear 'Congo' in the news, it is always DRC. The other Congo is much smaller, to the north of the big one, was a French colonial, and has Brazzaville as a capital, not Kinshasa. It has problems as well, but nothing to the scale of big Congo, which was also the Belgian one by the way.

With that out of the way, it's probably best to kick out a few links that do a much better job of explaining things than I could ever hope to. I think that my Yugoslavia explanation is pretty tight at the moment, but Congo is just too twisted up for me to break down succinctly and I feel like I'd be doing a massive disservice to the millions of people who have died in this devolving twistedness. If you do want something that's a quicker read though, take a look at this BBC article. It doesn't cover as much history as needed, but it gives a decent rundown for someone who wants to be a little more knowledgeable, but not annoyingly so.

For everyone who wants to really bug the crap out of people with details at your next soiree, yet offer a solid alternative to US political discussions, I turn to Wronging Rights. Their shit is in depth and I'm told they hold their liquor like coal miners. They also happen to be that rare example of the "good lawyer" that works in human rights instead of digging around in the pockets of insurance companies. So if you really want to dig in to Congolisciousness read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4. They infuse a good deal of sarcasm in there that makes the reading not just an endless rant of dates and biznak. Party, party!

This article is cross posted on Subsaharska

28 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: dr congo, history, in to africa

If you Call me, you Lost my Vote

I don't watch TV because I'm cool and I'm telling you this because I want you to know it. But in all seriousness, I can't stand the commercials as well as most of the programming. So, I can't even imagine how it must be on the air currently with all the political ads running. If it's anything like my mailbox or my phone, it's miserable.

And really, that's the reason why I can't wait for this damned election to be over. If it was just the mailbox full of crap that I have to recycle everyday, I could stand it. But, it's the constant phone calls. So many of them disguise themselves as a poll or something else, when in reality they're pitching some candidate or measure to me. It's specifically because of an annoying call from some goomba guy telling me, "Hey, on Novemba foorth, vote for my pal, Joseph Alioto Jr." that I absolutely will not vote for Alioto. That and I'm tired of that family being the San Francisco political scene of course.

Larry David and his, I can eat, but mostly standing up article about the election pretty much sums it up. Never before have I wanted an election to pass so that I can answer the phone without a robocall waking me up in the morning. And actually get mail again from someone I know seems like a dream too good to be true. I guess I should be thankful I didn't give out my email.

27 10 2008      2 comments

Tags: elections, politics, privacy, waste

Misworded Mondays: Mashup

Definition: In web development, a mashup is a web application that combines data from more than one source into a single integrated tool; an example is the use of cartographic data from Google Maps to add location information to real-estate data, thereby creating a new and distinct web service that was not originally provided by either source.

Usage: "Oh wow, that's a great mashup of Google Maps that you've created to show homeless sightings in San Francisco! It's funny how the Starbuck's location mashup is the exact opposite."

Reality: This almighty buzzword has come about in the whole Web 2.0 craze. In practice it means that you've taken the hard work that someone else has done (99% of the time, this means Google), tossed a slight layer of your own on the top and from that point forward you get credit for actually having created something. This is a load of crap. If you transpose this terminology on to the everyday, then I have to say that I created a great breakfast mashup this morning of some sweet bowl, milk, and cereal technologies. It's basically an indicative term showing that we in Western societies are so pathetically unable to create anything new that just taking what someone else has done and using it is considered actually doing something. Crap, where did that migrant worker go that I hired to chew my food for me...?

One thing I'm really looking forward to in the next burn off of websites are those that take three or so API's, mash them up, and then present their "new" site to the world. Even though people open up an interface to their systems, it doesn't mean that just because you can use that interface that you're doing anything special. So, Nation, anytime you hear someone talking about a great "mashup", remember that it's code for loser trying to cash in on a better system.

26 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: language, misworded mondays

Misworded Mondays: An Introduction

I was an English Literature major in college. This means that I studied the hell out of a lot of books that no one in their sane minds would ever want to read (I'm looking squarely at you 18-19th century [sorry E]). It also means that I'm a language snob who has absolutely no training in linguistics because my degree is in reading and bullshitting, not in actual language construction. In everyday practice that means I get really, really mad about how other people appropriate words in to weird contexts, but I can't tell you why you should care, only that I'm pissed and you should be pissed too.

Thankfully, at some point, I remembered and (#1 Fan pointed out) that I do have a blog, which is nothing more than a space to rant about how pissed I am about something as well as to inform folks about where I am in the world. So, here we have it, 'Misworded Mondays'. As I see fit (which probably means I'll do this for a month and then forget about it) I'm going to put up a word, put up the proper definition, use it in a sentence, and then go on to define how it's really being used. We'll see how successful this format is and if I can keep it up with the same level of professionalism I maintain through all my activities (the quality of my naps is unapproachable.) Enjoy it or not. Maybe Monday will start to be the day you check out Pengovsky's NSFW post instead.

26 10 2008      2 comments

Tags: language, misworded mondays

Please Help to Save the Serbian Panda

This was spotted on Belgraded yesterday. I think he was the first to "break the story".

For those unaware, most Serbian (and Bosnian and Croatian and Montenegrin etc.) meals consist of meat. Followed by more meat. Followed by a side of meat. Then maybe a potato or bread just to make mom happy that you're not eating meat all the time. Then just a touch of meat at the end to wash away the bread or potato. While in Belgrade, I ate tons of meat. While in Novi Sad, I shared what must have been five kilos of delicious delicious meat with my cousin Ivan and #1 Fan. My heart nearly stopped halfway through the meal. We weren't able to finish all of it to which the server just laughed and asked if we weren't from around there. It's damned good meat there, but damn it's a lot of it.

24 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: food, humor, serbia, the balkans

Croatian 'Free' Media Suffers a Minor Setback

At 18:25 yesterday, a car bomb exploded in Zagreb, Croatia killing the publisher and editor-in-chief of Nacional, Ivo Pukanić and journalist, Niko Franjić. Naturally, if such an event happened in US America, the immediate response would be to blame terrorist and that "damned El Kayduh". Such assumptions are not made in Croatia. They assume that it's the mafia instead.

While Split has always been known to be unsafe due to all the drug activity (which is of course all from Italy as such issues can't possibly arise domestically), the problems of safety in Zagreb have been escalating in recent events. It seems if you cross the wrong person, you can get you shot in broad daylight. Not a great image for a country relying heavily on tourism money at the moment.

Ironically, I was just having a conversation with a friend two days ago because I was asking him about Nacional and if they're any good. They're apparently better than most as they actually do research and create their own stories; an art lost on most in the media these days. Nacional had run a particularly scathing article on a one Davor Butković who is (or maybe was) a very prominent journalist in Croatia. The man is about as corrupt as they come and Nacional outed him on account of it. My personal grudge against Butković is for the fact that he writes blather about wine that I've found to be worthless. This is doubly unfortunate as it comprises the National Tourism Board's entire Wine Guide for the country, but I digress.

Pukanić had been fearing for his life for some time. I have no idea as to what his dealings were behind the scenes, but on the surface, he appeared to try to report on what was actually wrong in Croatia. This is not a popular stance to take. It has not been a particularly free media scene since the days of Tuđman and his propaganda machine (which thusly morphed in to today's newspapers) that was nearly on a level with Milošević's. The death of Ivo is undoubtedly going to have a chilling effect on the freedom of the press in Croatia. If the EU ascension talks of 2009 get pushed back, I will not be surprised in the least. On the bright side, it gives all the competitors a chance to heap praise on their main opposition without losing any ground.

23 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: croatia, media

Ferran Adrià went and Sold Out

For those unfamiliar, Ferran Adrià is the man that is considered the best chef in the world. His restaurant El Bulli is always rated with three Michelin stars and reservations for the entire year are sold out the day that they open. The food is nothing short of bizarrely innovative. From what I've heard (I am simply not special enough to probably ever get to go there) he takes all kinds of elements and then reworks them through his own brand of gastronomic chemistry. The end results end up being fish that look like apples, mushrooms that taste like spinach, and countless other things.

So, it was the other day, when I was down at Paella Day that I encountered Star olive oil with his picture on it. I almost thought it was a fake, but there it was in the Safeway. It's ridiculous in that anyone who knows who Adrià is would know that there's no possible way he'd use Star (which is fine, but not amazing) in his cooking and anyone who doesn't know who he is wouldn't have his picture push them in to buying it. It's a lovely example of clueless marketing, although I'm sure Adrià got a nice tidy sum to grace the front of the bottle.

For me, I think I'll stick to my Orovillian olive oil except when I'm in Spain in which case it's "¡Viva España!"

22 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: catalonia, food, greed, spain, the europe

Codin' in the Boy's Room

Years and years ago, back when I had less than 16 units to my name from college, I worked a Christmas stint at a major clothing retailer in the Bay Area running stock. In typical corporate fashion, they had over hired for the Christmas season. No one in management really wanted to point this out as the fear was that the next year, they would cut back too far. So, everyone stayed mum and my direct boss, who liked me said, "Look, do what needs doing and stay out of sight otherwise."

So, I would go in, work 30-45 minutes and then spend the rest of the day staying out of the way, by discovering what was where in the four floors of the store. One of my favorite places to hide out was this completely unused employee restroom in the basement. I could go in there and read for hours. I probably read more during the two months I worked for the store than I have my entire life after getting my English Lit degree.

Well, it turns out that such escape is not possible at a place like Google as I found out from my first visit. No, there aren't computers in the bathroom so that your Number Two can be as productive as the rest of your day, but they do have snippets of code in various places to think about. They are above the urinals and on the back doors of the stalls in the men's restroom and also in the stalls of the women's restroom (let me emphasize that this was confirmed to me by a woman and not firsthand.) So, there you have it, the culture of code even saturates the most sacrosanct place in all of Spain.

Oh yeah, as for that job I had years ago, they kept asking me back year after year basically because when I was seen, I was working, unlike other morons who hadn't clued in to this and go fired left and right because people saw them goofing around. I'm guessing that this is probably not such a problem at Google.

21 10 2008      0 comments

Tags: code, google