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Just a note that Lisa Marie Presley really needs to realize she's not Elvis. Yeah, she's up there bouncing around the stage in her latest video and trying some hip shaking stuff, but really, this is not Elvis. Her face kinda looks like his, but when you deck her out in Avril Lavigne wannabe duds, she looks somewhat ass.       Oh yeah, the song sorta sucks too, whereas even though I'm a Beatles Person, I still respect Elvis in a lot of where. LM, Elvis you are not.

Over Thanksgiving, I met with my funny Uncle George. Well, actually he's my great-uncle, but he's just "uncle" to everyone in the family. You know, that guy in the family who doesn't have any kids of his own and always slips all the kids a 20 dollar bill around the holidays. Let me emphasize that he's not that creepy uncle many have in their family. He's the lovable kind, outspoken one.       Anyways, he and my grandfather got to talking about WWII as they always seem to do. I can't blame them, it was a pretty tremendous event in their lives and one that defined a good deal of their existence. George happened to be in France for the war and he was there somewhat towards the end of it all, just mopping up the Nazis with everyone else. Good times I suppose.       When asked if he had ever been back to Europe after the war, the answer was a resounding "No." It's kind of funny for a guy who grew up speaking Portuguese that he's never been back there. Despite how hard I tried to tell him that it really and truly has been rebuilt since the war, he really had no interest in going over there. I suppose Europe just isn't for some people when you get down to it. Such a funny guy, content to live out the rest of his days in Modesto.

Needless to say that when you're living with someone who is from a former Soviet country and speaks Russian fluently, you find out that some things you took for granted were dead, flat-out wrong. In the first month I knew Jenya, the way Americans use the word, "Babushka" was such a thing I found to be used so completely wrong that I was amazed.       It's true that words get adapted from different languages in strange ways. But, sometimes they're not so strange as I've recently found out that a "jastre" in Croatian and Russian sounds a lot like the English word, "osprey". I doubt this is much of a coincidence as they're very similar birds and the English word probably came from this Slavic root.       However, this small detail aside, as I was growing up, I always had a pretty well-definied idea of what a "babushka" was. It's a name that Russians used in a cute, diminuitive way to mean a cute girlfriend. Forever etched in my head is the image of a hot blond-haired, blue-eyed girl with creamy skin wearing a completely white form-fitting outfit that has a fur-lined collar on it. For those who know, this is insanely wrong. The word means "grandmother".       How and where this gross mistranslation came in to being is beyond me because not only is it wrong, it's also pretty insulting. What girl in her 20's in America would want to be called "grandma". We too use this as an insult. The Russian word does sound like a cute thing to say and someone must have started saying it wrong and it just went forth from there. Just like why Americans write "meter" instead of "metre".       For those out there who want to say something cute to a Russian girl, I would recommend trying, "zaichik" instead, which means something close to "little rabbit". As you can see, it makes a lot more sense than telling a girl she's your cute little grandma when you're under the covers.

For those who are in the know, but haven't heard, Google has launched a new analysis tool for websites called Google Analytics. Overall, it's pretty cool. It offers one or two features that I don't have in my current analysis tools which makes it fun, so I'm using it for the time being. The fact that Google is getting all my web stats is more than a tad unnerving to say the least, but I suppose it's the price you pay for getting such a system free and I'll see how long it's worth my using it. On a couple of sites that I have which are not hosted on my server, it is extremely useful since they don't offer any stats tools.       The craziest thing about this system is that it used to be a company called Urchin or something like that. Like all good gigantic companies, Google bought them up and is now offering their system. They've changed very little about the system, even calling it "urchin" in some places. What's fun though, is to look at the Javascript that drives this whole thing, here. That's hairy. I suppose it has to be considering what it does and I'm sure that the systems on the other end are equally as morbid.       So, I'll see how it goes with this. Maybe let it run and get some idea of things and where people are (the Geography locator is pretty damn cool) to see how best to redesign Cinefuse. Also, I'm really interested to see if this system will in some way alter the AdWords system by making them more targeted geographically, system-wise, or whatever else that they're learning and didn't know before. Otherwise, I'm still an AWStats kind of guy.

I can't remember how I came to it, but I recently found What Would Tyler Durden Do? which I've become painfully addicted to. While the guy writing can definitely be a guy at times, he's also generally funny and his celebrity commentary is pretty on point. Here's a nice example about Paris Hilton:              "For the monkeys sake, this better get Paris the attention she craves, cause if not she won't hesitate to make a necklace from its paws or walk around with a pony on fire."              It's rich. It's good. Msot importantly, it's updated several times a day. I have no idea what he must do for a day job since he just seems to be on his site all day long, but unlike most of us who blather, his is actually work reading everything about. It's kinda like Daily Dish with a sense of humor and irony.       Wow, I just realized that this is article 400. How times flies over the two years I've been doing this.

Okay, I have a pretty high tolerance for a lot of things, given that I grew up on a farm. I probably could have been a doctor or surgeon because I have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to gore. I mean, I grew up butchering animals and dealing with the aftermath of them being attacked by other animals. It provides a strong foundation where a lot of the things in San Francisco that violently revolt others can't touch you.       This all changed the other day as I went to meet a potential client around Mission and New Montgomery. It's generally a pretty good area but there are a few vagrants, drunks, addicts, bums, and what have you who stroll through there on occassion. As I was trying to use the dial pad to get in to the building, I wasn't paying much attention to those walking by. There is however one woman I should have paid a lot more attention to as she stopped walking about two feet behind me and decided to unleash to flailing torrent of vomit right in the middle of the street.       Fortunately she was far enough away from me that just a little splattered on my shoes (which I'm pretty certain I have to burn now) and the only real problem I had to deal with was the shock of someone doing this and the ensuing smell that arose from the act. Why she couldn't just hobble two feet over to the curb and do it there is beyond me. After the fact, I did feel sorry for her as I realize she has to be pretty screwed up to be reduced to acts that even dogs think about before committing. Of course, I don't think any of my sympathy was coming through in the expression on my face as she started to walk towards me in what looked like a move to bum change. I think that the look in my eyes was something akin to wanting to roll her down a hill in a burning truck tire, so she thought otherwise and walked on.       Geez, it's still bugging me. Hopefully it will fade and I'll be able to eat scrambled eggs again.

I don't know when it happened, but it seems that lately, Google hasn't really been all that great for things. Yes, they've become a buzzword, verb, and synonymous with being the internet, but to be honest, their searches just aren't all that great. When I search for things, I get dead pages. When I search for images, maybe 25% of them aren't there. These were the kind of results that I used to get back in the pre-Google days when no one really cared about searching and it was just something that was kinda handy. In walks Google and now it's soemthing that's really profitable, but they're not really do all that good a job of it now. For instance, I relaunched my film site for Betafuse Pictures about 2-3 weeks ago and they're still showing old links on the site when searches bring it up as a result. Yes, they've updated to have the most recent look there, but the content has not been properly re-indexed. They show "about.php" as the second result when that's not even a page anymore!       I bring all this up, because the company known as "The Evil One", Microsoft's MSN search has been doing a much better job. Obviously they've been scared by Google and it's had a good result. When I search for things, they're up to date and not dead.       It's tough to say, but search engines like MSN and Yahoo are generally giving me better results and performing in a more impressive manner. It's true there are those out there that are skewing Google results, but this isn't a results problem. It's a search problem that is solely based on their technology not doing what it should. I know that they're dumping scads of money in to Adword these days, but the only way Adwords works is if people trust the search. So, if someone like me can't depend on it, I doubt that I'll want to use Adwords to promote with.       Just some untasty food for thought.

The mooses (why the hell don't we say 'Meese' by the way, we say geese?!!) prove that drunkeness really is not something that humans have a lock on. Of course, I'm sure the retirement people were scared out of their minds and we'ren't ready to argue that point with the beasts.       Speaking of the retired, the other day, I went out to Holy Cross Cemetery in Colma (yup, where the dead outnumber the living by some massive number.) I was looking for the graves of my great-grandfather and grand-uncle. I found both of them and they did little to shed any light on family history as it seems to be the case with my enigmatic Croatian family. But the thing that really freaked me out where the retirement homes right across from the cemetery. That just sucks. It's one thing to know that you're going to die someday, but another one altogether to see your eternal resting place waiting for you each morning with an open maw. Yeah, that's right, I just used the word "maw". Sometimes you gotta put your English Lit degree to work, ya hear!       If I don't die the way I want to (in a spontaneously combusting ball of flames while playing cyber bongo on the flood plane of Mars), I hope that if I do raise jerkwad kids who stick me in a home that it's nowhere near a hole in the ground. For one, as I said before, that sucks. And two, I want cremation dammit! Don't waste space on my deadness please.

To be quite honest, I've never truly cared for her music, but every so often, Madonna hits a decent note and makes something I can listen to. Most fo the rest of the time, she is marketing herself extremeley well. She's had a considerable amount of influence and push on pop culture for a person who isn't a particularly great singer and is a really bad actor. For this ability of hers I salute the Material Girl.       Lately though, her new song, "Hung Up" has been circulating the air and radio waves. It's a fine song. It's got a good groove to it. And most importantly, it would fit in perfectly on a Royksopp album. Is this a coincedence? Eh, most likely not. Madonna is damn good at taking bits from other artists who are currently producing and tossing out records under her name. I don't think that there's anything wrong with this since everyone who is an artist does this to some degree, but what's really amuzing is that critics and journalists will always talk about her new sound or discovery on whatever album she has out. Little do they know that if they actually listened to that band from Norway with the strange name, they'd be experiencing a deja vu moment. Of course, very few kids in the market these days know who the hell some of these groups are, so people like Madonna can get away with such tricks. Does this mean her music won't have staying power because it isn't legitimately her own creation? Maybe. Maybe not. Her old songs are classic despite being derivative. Some of her less than older songs aren't. It's just the way it goes.       I do have to say that for a woman who is very quickly closing in on 50 and has had two kids, she does look really good in her new video. Yes, she does look older, that's inevitable. I don't know what ho-hum filmmaker like Guy Ritchie did in a former life to be so lucky. At least he, unlike Senor Federline, is smart enough to realize who wears the pants in that relationship and even admit it in interviews.

Well, it's finally out, the trailer (teaser) for Aronofsky's forthcoming film, The Fountain.       I have only one this to say to Darren, "Screw You!" Where did this guy come from? He's such an insanely brilliant filmmaker that it's like Kubrick shat all his cinematic beauty into this new being to create. But that's not really fair, since Darren does his own thing and it's amazing, but still he's like a new Kubrick. He's that good. 'Requiem for a Dream' is a hard film to watch, but it's brilliant. I don't know how his latest will pan out, but my guess is that it will also be amazing, especially since he an Brad Pitt parted ways when they first started shooting. I can't believe that Brad would have issues with Aronofsky's style or creative direction. That's like the time Madonna tried to tell Annie Leibovitz how to take a portrait of her. It's always a measure of how big someone things they've gotten when they can't compromise. Brad's probably going to go down if 'Troy' and 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' are any indication, while Darren can't go anywhere but up. I just can't wait for this film now. Damn it looks good.